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Today I wonder, why I deserve her. It has always been on my mind as to how could our paths even collide. It seems messy and almost impossible that we would have fallen for each other but we did. I am happy that we did. Looking back I guess it might be God’s plan to bring all of this into fruition.

I feel that it was ridiculous that all of this happened. To find someone that you can relate to and converse with so comfortably is amazing. I’m just very happy and I think that that is a good sign. I think it is important that one has to be complete before finding another. To be complete does not mean one has to be rich or having a career but instead, it means that one has to be comfortable and be sure of their goals and aspirations. The physical things does not matter but the emotional does.

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Too quickly

I feel like time passes by too quickly. It felt like the past five days didn’t actually happen.

Ramadan came and go just like that and the major celebrations of Syawal too. Now, we’re back to status quo which to continue to fight our nafs and the whispers of Syaitan.

It might be a hard task for some and some might have fallen back to their old habits but may we not be amongst them. It is sad if one continues to carry out habits that they have abstained in Ramadan. It is as if Ramadan had no effect on us.

I too might be guilty of that.

Hmm… Anyway, there are no excuses for me to not do what I have set out myself to do. I will do them.

Keep our egos in check.

Do you always fear that your prayers are not accepted?

Sometimes we are afraid that we do not carry out a prayers correctly And sometimes due to our lack of knowledge we missed out on certain things. Therefore, even during prayers I think about these things.

But all I can do is to hope for the best that my prayers are accepted.

Can we ever be certain that what we do for God is for the good? Sometimes I wonder if anything is worth at all. Sometimes when we carry out our tasks In the path of God, our egos might come in the way. Our egos will change the direction of such tasks and it will affect our choices and our decisions along the way. Sometimes when we do a lot of good deeds, we begin to think that we are better than everyone else which in fact is not true. In actual fact, we are worse off.

I guess it is hard sometimes to separate ego from the work that we do especially when we have been doing it for a very long time. I guess it becomes numb us. However, we need to be conscious of our intentions. I guess I put a very strong focus on intentions especially when we are doing things that affect the community. Because intentions drive our purpose in the things that we do.

I guess if I continue talking further I will start rambling but the main point of this post is to help us realise that we need to keep our egos in check.

Whispers

It is really true how easily you fall into sin after Ramadan.

People no longer think about the rights and the wrongs.well, to be more specific, people no longer abstain from doing things that are deemed ‘unIslamic’. I guess without Ramadan, there is no conscious need to think whether the things that we do are in His favour. Instead, we just do it.

Maybe it is also due to the whispers of the devil that tempts us or maybe it is just due to our uncontrolled desires or nafs. I don’t know but what I do know is that the change is apparent.

Maybe that is why the fasts of Syawal are considered harder than the Ramadan fasts because aside from the whispers of the devil, you are all alone in fasting. So, it is all determined by pure self motivation.

InsyaAllah we can continue to be conscious of the sins during our Raya visits and be conscious of his whispers.

First Day of Raya

I am tired. It has only been a day and it is already so exhausting. Everyone was dressed beautifully and handsomely. They post OOTDs of themselves on Instagram. To be honest, I’m quite jealous of them to be able to dress so beautifully on this blessed day.

My experience on the first day of Raya has been different as compared to the rest of the years. We managed to find some cousins tag along with on my father’s side and it made the Raya much more eventful.

Further more, there was an open house at my cousin’s house on my mother’s side. So basically I’ve visited both sides today.

It is already 1230 at night and I really need to sleep. I’m just glad that the Malay community is very proud of our traditions and that we continue to strengthen ties of kinship.

I am very happy to see our community smiling and growing together and I really think that if the community continues to develop our young ones we will be a community that will be stronger. Anyway, that is my thought for today.

I hope to take more pictures tomorrow and maybe get an OOTD. Oh well, I guess I’ll see you guys again tomorrow, insyaAllah.

Today is EID

Today is EID.

And it is the mark of celebration for the Muslims all over the world. After a month of fasting, and Muslims come together to celebrate the ending of another successful Ramadan. However, it makes me wonder whether there are any change in people going from year to year. Sometimes people never change while other times people do change a lot. It makes me sad to think that there are people that never do change. Going from year to year remaining stagnant And not learning anything new at all. There are also some people that continue again their bad habits even after Ramadan.

I can only hope to not be one of those people. As the celebrations continue and as we visit family and friends, we can only hope to bring new things to the table and show that you have grown throughout the years. Every year, we are only getting older. Therefore, we need to learn and continue to grow every year. I don’t think it is hard To learn something new. However it takes some effort to actually learn something. No matter how small it is, I think it will go a long way if we continue to learn and strive to develop ourselves.

It is Eid once again and definitely the questions asked by our relatives remain the same. We can only hope to give a different answer every year. InsyaAllah, we will continue to be better versions of ourselves.

May He continue to guide us along the way and keep us steadfast. Amin.

Syawal menjelma

It is Syawal.

And it is scaring me.

I think what scares me the most is how fast time flies. It felt like it was only yesterday when it was the beginning of Ramadan but in the blink of an eye it’s already Syawal.

Also the worry is that I wouldn’t have my sins forgiven doing the month of Ramadan. I think as a Muslim we strive to get our sins forgiven by God but that’s what we can only do. You can put in as much effort as we can but ultimately it is up to him to determine our fate. I think this time I reflect on the things that I did and achieved in this blessed month.

Firstly, I regret to inform you that I didn’t follow the goals that I had set for myself at the beginning of the month But I think I did a pretty good job in putting myself out there and trying to do good. I think it is partly because of the opportunities that was given to me such as Silat and NUSMS. One opportunity was to do a homemake over with 4PM. It was a collaboration with an external organisation and I think I learnt a lot from it. However, I kind of regret of my actions during the course of the event. I might not have had maintained Is it the level of respect for the person that I was helping. I kind of regret what I had said behind her back and I feel that it wasn’t right. Even though she was at the wrong, I had no right to say what I had said. After all, we were there to do good. No matter what happened, we should have just kept quiet and help her as much as we can. I only realised my mistake a few days after. By that time it was already too late. I think I can only pray that God forgive me for what I had done and may He accept our efforts.

Secondly, one of the good things that I think I did this month is that I manage to help out in giving food in the food distribution drive. Even though I could only help for about four days I feel accomplished and I think it was something out of my comfort zone and that help me a lot. I guess I realise that volunteering is quite fun actually but it depends what kind that I do. I would definitely be interested in volunteering more often In the future. I hope that there will be many more opportunities to help the community and to give back to the community in the future. I think it takes a heart to help someone in need.

Next, I managed to memorise several surahs And I am happy that I managed to do so. Even though I may need more practice I think I got it all figured out. I hope to memorise more in the future and I hope even after Ramadan the practice continues.

I think one lesson that can be learnt all that I had learnt in Ramadan is that one cannot be egoistic. After watching a drama series online I think every character in the series portrait a certain level of egoism which affects daily life. To be honest, such problems can be solved easily but however, due to how they compare themselves to others it affected the judgement. It also goes to show that not everyone with a sound mind or with education in religion can make clear judgements and decisions. Sometimes it is hard to not judge others because of the certain background that they were from. I think there are much lessons to be learnt and I think that especially applies to our daily lives.

In the end, it is up to us to make the right decisions no matter what society thinks of us.

As fast as Ramadan came, it left in an instant. We can only hope and pray that we will live till the next Ramadan. I just hope that we continue to hold on to the lessons that you have learnt in this blessed month. I pray that you continue to do good and we continue to rely on him and remember him as much as we can. I pray that we never neglect our obligations in this religion no matter where we are and who we are. May God forgive us for all our transgressions and mistakes that we have done in the past and may He continue to bless us with his blessings and gifts. Till then goodbye.

PS. This post was written primarily by dictation and I think that I’m going to start using it from now on. To be honest it felt like a dream, it felt like Harry Potter. I think technology has gone so far.