I Am Starting to Feel Regret

Three months had passed since my stint in the Singapore Civil Defence Force ended. Three months in of my 5-month break before university begins. Three months of seemingly rotting at home.

I am starting to feel regret for the way I used my time during these three months.

I should have worked, I should have signed up for classes, I should have eaten better, I should have learned new skills and I should have done so much more… but I didn’t.

I sat at home, I procrastinated, I ate horribly and I did not pick up any new skills. I was a mess.

However, even though I seemingly ‘waste’ a lot of time, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the free time I had to pursue creativity, to read and to write. I enjoyed the free time I had to pursue anything that was in my immediate interest. I enjoyed the free time to ponder and think, to contemplate and dream, to envision and predict. I enjoyed every moment of it. I was a mess but in those three months, I managed to ‘Know Thyself’ and I am confident enough to say that I am self-aware.

I was a mess but in those three months, I managed to ‘Know Thyself’ and I am confident enough to say that I am self-aware.

To others, it might seem that I am wasting my time and I should have instead applied for a part-time job. They argue that it is better to use my time to generate money than seemingly rotting at home, I disagree. I needed the time to think, to compose and to understand myself.

Three months to think?!

Knowing Thyself is not an easy task and it never will be. It takes time to understand your habits, experimenting with different techniques and structuring different programmes and I am sure that putting in the time would be a good investment for my future.

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2 thoughts on “I Am Starting to Feel Regret

  1. Sometimes I look forward to long weekends and the things I’ll be able to do with all that free time. Then it rolls around and falls behind me, and I realise I’ve wasted another stretch of free time.

    I know that feel. Nice posts and design by the way. Keep it up!

    Like

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