Our Hearts Make Us Go Blind

“Love is blind, and a deaf-mute too.”

— The Wise Man’s Fear, Patrick Rothfuss

Have you ever fallen in love?

The feeling of intense happiness as your hearts flutter when you see your significant other. The unconscious smile on your face when you look at her, the sudden increased pitch in your voice when you speak, the euphoria you feel rising through you chest.

I have been thinking about this feeling, this emotion that seemed to be unexplainable through words but only known through experience. Most of the time, we do not recognise that love had struck us, we do not realise that we are paying extra attention to that person such as the way they dressed, the way they tied their hair or the way they walked. And sometimes, the effects that we are feeling from being in love can make us go blind.

The tugging of our hearts when we fall in love skew our perception of reality. It skews our opinion of the other person. A person that normally we would find annoying might be tolerable when we are in love with them, a person that we think might not be our type might be someone that we fall head over heels for when we are in love. Sometimes, when they do a bad thing, we ignored consciously ignore it even though our ‘not-in-love’ selves might have raised it up.

I am sure some of us have experienced this before, we are skewed to only look at the good side of the person, their physical appearance, their character and the decisions that they make. It seems that we are somehow scared to offend them because we love them.

However, I am not saying that falling in love is all that bad and should be avoided at all costs, instead, I am saying that we should still hold on to the moral compass within ourselves even when we fall in love so that we can still differentiate the right from wrong, the good from the bad.

This is just my opinion on love from my everyday observations of people.

 

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A Recorded World

Everything we type, we post, we share are recorded. This blog post is recorded, that video on Youtube that you will be watching is saved, that article or that thought that you shared on Facebook is immortalised. It is fascinating — and scary — to know that everything we do online now is recorded and saved in some database somewhere. Even though we might delete it, a part of it will still be on some server somewhere. Nothing can ever be completely erased once it is up on the Internet.

The thing about this that pretty much fascinates me is that even if we die, an essence of our thoughts is immortalised. The things that we do, the discussions that we have, the posts that we write, all immortalised online for everyone to see. It is fascinating that the only thing left of us when we die is the digital footprint that we leave behind. Unfortunately, this includes the dumb things that we had said and the stupid and embarrassing things that we did.

So, maybe we should really think about the things that we are putting up online. The digital imprint that you leave behind might be your only legacy and I’m sure that you do not want to be remembered as the person who did something stupid and let others see.

The Greatest Motivator

Today on Instagram, I have been seeing posts by David Rock and Gary Vaynerchuck about death and the regret before death. A quote struck me:

YOU WILL DIE.

Nothing can be truer than that.

All of us will have to die one day, no matter how much we try to escape death, death will always come for us. However, I believe that we can make use of that fear as a motivator. Some may argue that it might even be the greatest motivator.

To understand and accept that we will die one day can motivate us to do great things, especially things that are related to our legacy. As much as we hate to admit it, we seek to be remembered, either through the heroic acts we do such as that of the legendary warrior, Achilles or through the kind acts towards our community. We want to be remembered and that fear of being forgotten after death happens can motivate us to exceed our potential and build great things.

Use it, form it, manipulate it to become a motivator and not just another fear.

Reverse-Engineer

When you are lying on your deathbed in your final moments of your life and you are looking back at everything that had happened in your life, what is it that you want to see? What achievements do you want to achieve? What regrets do you have?

I believe it is a question that all of us should ask ourselves, a question that tackles our higher purpose in life.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

— Nietzsche

All of us have many goals that we want to achieve, dreams that we want to make a reality before we die, a bucket list of sorts. Some of us want to travel all over the world, others might want to help the poor by providing them food, shelter and water. Some of us might even want to build an empire and leave behind a legacy.

But there is a problem. Most of us do not know where to begin.

Therefore, I have a suggestion. Reverse-engineer.

  1. List down all your goals. Pick one that you prioritise to achieve.
  2. Break down that goal into what will make it a reality. E.g. Travel Around the World. To make it a reality, I would need money, months of holidays (quit my job?)
  3. Next, break down the parts into its smaller components. Since we would need money to travel around the world, you would need to work for a period of time and save that money. Maybe, open a savings account?
  4. Finally, apply. This is the most difficult step in this whole process as it would require you to stay motivated long enough to see the results come to fruition. Do not give up because know that you do not want to regret it when you’re on your deathbed.

Sometimes, your plan of action might fail you and it might not produce the results that you expected, do not worry, simply repeat the steps again.

Know this, it is never easy to achieve a life goal, maybe that is why it is so stimulating once you did achieve it. It requires dedication, focus and sacrifice, willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it.

What keeps me motivated to work is the sense of regret. I do not want to feel regret when I am in my final phase of life. I do not want to think back and know that I could have done something with my life, that I could have put in a bit more effort.

We have one life to live, so make the best out of it.

Allow me to end this with a quote from Viktor E. Frankl:

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

 

 

 

 

Reminders for Me

You may read it, you may sometimes even enjoy it but most of the articles that I write are reminders, reminders for myself.

I need reminders, constant reminders.

Reminders to change, reminders to stay motivated, reminders of my purpose here on planet Earth.

Each article, embedded within is a reminder for myself, my past, present and future self.

And the constant reminders keep me grounded, grounded on my identity and the person who I truly want to be.

I will carry on reminding myself, reminding myself to be a better person, as close to perfection as possible.

And I look forward to the day that my reminders pay off.

Cheers.

You don’t deserve what you think you deserve

Most of us — first-worlders — were born into a life that is comfortable, a life that allows us to thrive, a life of a middle-class citizen. If we were to compare ourselves to the rest of the world, we basically hit the jackpot. We have scored big time in life with access to countless opportunities that most third-worlders can only dream of.

Think about it. We never had to work tirelessly for food, fight for a roof over our heads or even beg for a drink of water. Never do we need to live a life that is unexpected, the thought of when our next meal constantly occupying our minds. Our lives are certain and predictable.

Isn’t it amazing that we have access to quality healthcare, a solid and good education, a job that pays well? And yet, we still complained.

Unfortunately, this is a rising trend and I personally feel that many individuals today carry on their daily lives with a sense of entitlement to everything. They lacked appreciation for the things that they have and are unable to see that what they have are luxuries.

We need to realise that no one is entitled to anything. We are not entitled to the phones in our pockets, the efficient public transport, the food before us or even the education that we receive. We need to recognise that all of those things are luxuries, benefits given to us because we just so happened to strike the lottery.

I feel that appreciation for what we have is a dying trait, a value that most of us no longer practise. We need to remember that we would not have what we have without the hard work and sacrifice of the people before us, the people who had helped build the first-world countries that we are living in today.

Ties of Friendship

Have you ever wanted to go back to the past, to change it, relive it or see it from a new perspective?

I have.

In my short life of 20 years, there is one period of my life that I would love to relive. That was my time in secondary school. To me, that period of my life was carefree, fun and exciting. All I had to do was to attend school. There were minimal responsibilities, low expectations and a lot of time. I look forward to school not because of schooling itself but because of the friends I made there, especially my classmates from the year 2008.

We were always up to no good, playing card games, — which were illegal — playing ‘fight club’ after school or the normal chatter about puberty and sex. Looking back, it was so immature, but at that point of time, it was a topic that filled us with curiosity, we are after all going through puberty.

Maybe I yearn to relive that moment in my life because ever since I graduated from secondary school, I have yet to experience the same sort of bondedness and friendship. There were a few other occasions but the feelings were never as strong.

Even though it has been 8 years and even though we have gone our separate ways, the friends that I made then are still my friends today. I am so glad that we are still bonded, our ties of friendships still strong.

Thinking about this made me appreciate the importance of having strong friendships because most of the time, the memories that we cherish the most are not places itself but the people you experience the places with. My friends made my time in secondary school the best time of my life, they made it interesting, and they made me look forward to school every single day.

And because of that, I would really love to relive that period of my life again.