Afraid of falling in…


At my age, the topic of relationships never strayed far from conversations.

No matter what we’re talking about, there’s always someone who’ll bring up the topic of love and relationships. It can either be from who we’re dating to who had recently hooked up.

I never had a significant other and maybe not so soon. Why? I can never imagine myself being in a committed relationship (not in the near future at least), having someone else to share our emotions with, relying on someone else for support and such. The thought is definitely beautiful but one not short of sacrifices. I’m just not yet willing to sacrifice much for now.

To be honest, deep inside, I truly want to find that significant other quickly, it is an urge that I’m sure everyone at this age feels but it becomes harder and harder to suppress as the years pile on.

And, as I dwell deeper into this topic, I start to wonder how could we tell the difference between falling in love with the person VS falling in love with the idea of the person?

A person has flaws, shortfalls, failures and probably some things they do that you dislike. However, the idea of a person is entirely different. You imagined them to be perfect, suited for you in every way. You even imagined how perfect your life would be if both of you just get together.

Therefore, sometimes, in the early stages of a relationship, it gets confusing and difficult to separate those two things apart. Infatuation just blocks the mind.

This scares me for I do not want to fall in love with the wrong person. But again, this begs the question of when do we know if we are truly in love? (Maybe a topic for another day.)

I applaud my friends who are fresh into a new relationship and I admire how decisive their decisions were. I believe it is something scary and wonderful at the same time, a milestone that comes with a lot of responsibilities and probably, tough challenges in the future. And I wish them all the best.

Anyway, as far as I’m concerned, that’s not where I want my life to be heading now for I still have many things I want to improve on. BUT, if things happen, I’ll just see where to steer my life then.

P.S. This topic is something that I can discuss for hours and it is truly something I’m still navigating and thinking about. Thus, whatever that I’ve discussed might change in the next few seconds or months.




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