Swollen Ankle

Had an injury today. Had a swollen ankle. Missed a kick and failed the landing. 

Had to limp all the way back home. Pretty painful. 

Met new coaches today too. It was fun. I love their personality and dedication and I hope that I can become an awesome student-athlete. 

Iced my ankle. Still hurts though. Now just bracing it with a makeshift ankle guard. 

Anyway, they announced the new Silat Exco. It was such an honour. 

I have to show them what I’ve got. I’m going up the publicity game so high. 

Watch. Me. Win. 

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Know Boundaries

I’m not sure whether I’ve blogged about this before or tweeted about it but what I just want to say and remind myself is that I need to recognise my boundaries.

Sometimes things can get quite fuzzy and lax especially in the moments of celebrations and happiness that we sometimes forget the boundaries that need to be there. This is not only applicable for boundaries relating to modesty but also in terms of respect and the proper adab when communicating with others.

Know the extent of the jokes that you make. Ensure that it does not hurt anyone in any way and put others in a bad light. You wouldn’t want that to happen to you, right?

Just a reminder for myself. Sometimes we forget.

 

Am I up for the challenge?

I was nominated as the Assistant Team Manager in-charge of Publicity for the NUS Silat Team.

Am I up for the challenge?

I have so many ideas that I want to implement and experiments I want to test.

I am just so excited to start my journey in the NUS Silat exco officially.

 

Young deaths kill me

Every day, there are people dying but we won’t realise how real it is until it starts to happen to the people around us.

Death can happen to anybody but the one that hurts me the most is the death of young souls. I’m 22 this year and this is the age where we start to work hard towards our dreams and aspirations. This is the age where we take risks, stay up late, work hard, absorb knowledge. This is the age where we begin to build our future. Therefore, it hurts to know that people my age can die, their future and the future of everyone around them gone. Just. Like. That.

It must especially be painful for their parents, the comfort that they’ve longed for, the effort that they put in into raising a child for 20-odd years vanished. Seemingly meaningless.

I lost a cousin, he was 17 I believe when he lost his self-awareness. He had a terrible fever which led to a terrible brain damage that caused seizures after seizures. He didn’t heal and completely lost function of his legs and his mind. It was a painful two years looking at him in that state, totally dependent and helpless. He suffered by being stuck in that state.

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise or just God’s way of answering our prayers to end the pain; he passed away in his sleep. He was almost 19.

Gosh.

I still remember standing over his grave, his body somewhere below, his mind in another world. It felt so surreal like a dream. How could a person so young die?

I even imagined what if I’m in his place instead, beneath kilogrammes of dirt, waiting for the questions by the angels to be asked. A pretty horrifying thought. I feared for him and I hope he is well and accompanied by the glorified people in Islam.

I believe in fate and destiny and it was already predestined for him to go at that age but for us alive right now, there’s a lot that we can learn.

I guess the most important lesson is that death happens unexpectedly. I can die after typing this sentence. You can die just by walking casually at the park. Death happens anywhere and anytime. Death knows no boundaries.

We need to keep that in mind, knowing full well that we can die in our most embarrassing state or even in the state of sinning (astaghfirullah).

Let’s try to live a beautiful life and also hope to die beautifully. That is my wish.

P.S. To everyone who had lost a loved one, young or old, know that Allah SWT is with them and may we hold on tight to the rope He has given us. Allah SWT take whom he loves and may he protect them from the burning fires of Hell. May He forgive all of their sins and that of ours. Grief if you must but never let it consume you.

A reminder for myself too. A pain everyone has to experience.

Am I an Overachiever?

I don’t think I am but a lot of people have been telling me that.

They say that I’m too hard on myself and that I’ve tried my best so I should just accept the fate that has been destined for me. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Shouldn’t I criticise myself for wasting all of that effort? Isn’t it right for me to punish myself for the lacklustre performance I brought up? Isn’t that justified?

They say that you are your worst critic and I totally agree. I criticise myself so much in almost everything that I do. Why? Because I feel that it will help me to develop myself into a better person, a better version of myself. Also, because one cannot trust other people to criticise objectively.

I haven’t been working hard as of late and it is starting to frustrate me as the results showed that. I know that I need to work hard but ah… I’m not going to give any excuses. I’ve been lazy.

Thus, begins the cycle of criticising myself and continuously telling myself to study, study, study. I made some progress but there’s still a lot that can be improved.

In one of the more recent posts, I’ve said that I wanted to be an all-rounder; I’m still trying to figure out how does one balance out school work and extra-curricular stuff. It is a trait that I admire and I’m working hard towards it. By continuously criticising myself, I compare myself to such people, treating that jealousy as motivation.

I know it is bad to continuously compare yourself with others but I feel that that is super effective if one can understand that you do not need to crush yourself emotionally when doing it. I take the comparisons objectively, looking at ways I can improve and imitate their actions and strategies. It is crucial that one does not compare them and putting themselves under a negative light. Take it as constructive feedback instead of destructive hate.

So, am I an overachiever? Definitely not, in my opinion. I’ve always wanted to build a better version of myself and I do that through hard criticisms. But I guess I see where my friends are coming from. However, for me, as long as the results are not achieved, the criticisms will continue.

 

 

 

Gift of time

The best gift is the gift of time or is it?

“If only I had more time,” slurred a man to his daughter as he lay on his deathbed.

“I need more time,” said a student to his teacher.

“Give me more time,” whispered a woman to God as she held her hands up.

All of us seem to want more time. All of us seem to need more time.

But time is always enough and yet we still begged for more.

To ask for more gifts of time is to ask something that will never fulfil your needs because we always seem to need more of it.

Think about how we use the time that we have, the gift of time that was given to us.

Have we been using it wisely or less so?

 

You know…

Do you know what sets me in motion?

Work.

Sometimes I complain that I have too much work.

Sometimes I get irritated and annoyed with not having enough time to rest.

But I just can’t live without work.

Especially if there is nothing that could tickle my creativity.

I would die.

Work is fulfilling especially if that work develops my skills.