I don’t think I am but a lot of people have been telling me that.
They say that I’m too hard on myself and that I’ve tried my best so I should just accept the fate that has been destined for me. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Shouldn’t I criticise myself for wasting all of that effort? Isn’t it right for me to punish myself for the lacklustre performance I brought up? Isn’t that justified?
They say that you are your worst critic and I totally agree. I criticise myself so much in almost everything that I do. Why? Because I feel that it will help me to develop myself into a better person, a better version of myself. Also, because one cannot trust other people to criticise objectively.
I haven’t been working hard as of late and it is starting to frustrate me as the results showed that. I know that I need to work hard but ah… I’m not going to give any excuses. I’ve been lazy.
Thus, begins the cycle of criticising myself and continuously telling myself to study, study, study. I made some progress but there’s still a lot that can be improved.
In one of the more recent posts, I’ve said that I wanted to be an all-rounder; I’m still trying to figure out how does one balance out school work and extra-curricular stuff. It is a trait that I admire and I’m working hard towards it. By continuously criticising myself, I compare myself to such people, treating that jealousy as motivation.
I know it is bad to continuously compare yourself with others but I feel that that is super effective if one can understand that you do not need to crush yourself emotionally when doing it. I take the comparisons objectively, looking at ways I can improve and imitate their actions and strategies. It is crucial that one does not compare them and putting themselves under a negative light. Take it as constructive feedback instead of destructive hate.
So, am I an overachiever? Definitely not, in my opinion. I’ve always wanted to build a better version of myself and I do that through hard criticisms. But I guess I see where my friends are coming from. However, for me, as long as the results are not achieved, the criticisms will continue.