I don’t know.

Gosh.

You know you’re in deep shit when someone is constantly on your mind the whole day.

I just have to wait it out but to be honest, I don’t know what to feel. I’ve been infatuated with this particular person for a while now but I just can’t bring myself to justify whatever emotion I am having.

Like… to be honest, why am I even infatuated with that person? Is it because I spend a lot of time with the person? Is it because I crave having a conversation with her? Is it because she’s just so easy to click with? I don’t know. I guess, in my humble opinion, I just find her intelligent, quite pretty, awkwardly funny, goal-driven and sometimes, contemplating just like me. However, I don’t think that justifies why I should feel the way I am feeling.

Maybe it is just my brain being sooooo deprived of romantic love interests that it just decides to go with anyone that come my way.

So, the question now is… what should I do? Should I wait it out like what I’ve always done or to pursue that emotion wholeheartedly knowing no fear?

What if I make a terrible mistake? What if I ruin that particularly one good chance? What if? What if?

I’m glad that it is Ramadan now which means I have no choice but to wait it out. Let’s just see what happens at the end of Ramadan.

I’m 22 and sooner or later, I’ll be faced with the same problem I have now. There’s no running away. I just hope that whatever Allah SWT planned for me will be good and I can’t wait to see what happens.

Advertisements