Takeaways from Eid

More like just one major takeaway. 

If I were to learn something from this year’s Eid is that we should never forget our aunties and uncles. 

As we grow older, as we slowly become adults, we shouldn’t forget that aside our parents, our aunties and uncles are also getting older. 

My dad told my brothers and I to always “jangan lupa pakcik dan makcik” or don’t forget about your aunties and uncles. Even though some of them might have their own children, we shouldn’t forget to visit them during Eid. I guess it is because we would always want to maintain the ties of blood and it shouldn’t be something that should be easily broken. 

Furthermore, it is to maintain the strong relationship that our parents have built with them. As the saying goes, blood is thicker than water. 

Also, one of my aunt whispered into my ear to not forget her especially so since she doesn’t have any children to take care of her when she’s older. It moved my heart when she said that. I truly worry about her when she becomes older. I wonder how she’ll be like and who will attend to her needs. 

Even though they are not your direct family, it is still important to care for them. Don’t destroy relationships for nothing especially one that’s forged from blood. 

InsyaAllah I will maintain such relationships. 

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Selamat Hari Raya

Alhamdulillah. 

We’ve managed to successfully complete Ramadan and insyaAllah all our good deeds, prayers and recitation of the Quran will be rewarded by Allah SWT. 

Today marks Hari Raya or Eid. It is a day for celebration, the day which marks the end of fasting. It is today when we visit relatives, strengthen relationships, enjoy the company of others whilst being in our best outfit. 

As sad as it is to feel to leave Ramadan, we should face Syawal and the rest of the months with renewed vigor and iman from struggling through Ramadan. 

InsyaAllah, we will have the opportunity to meet the next Ramadan. May Allah SWT bless us with good health till then. Amin. 

For now, I’d sign off here and I would just like to wish everyone, Muslims or non-Muslims, a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. :’)

A lonely soul

In the end, all of us are alone.

We can make as many friends as we possible, build and strengthen as many relationships as possible, love each and everyone you know hard but ultimately, we’re all alone.

As we lay 6 feet under, we are alone, alone with only our deeds.

As we lay 6 feet under, we are all alone with no one to help us, no one to find comfort in, no one to show us the way.

As we lay 6 feet under, all the things that we own and known to love have left us. That house you loved? Sold off to someone. That career you’ve worked so hard to build? Gone and you are replaced by someone else. The clothes that you owned? Worn by someone else. All gone.

In a generation or two, you are forgotten, completely forgotten. Who you were, what you’ve built, the stories you’ve told, the experiences you’ve gained, all gone.

Only you know that you had ever existed… 6 feet under.

You came into this world as a lonely soul and you left as a lonely soul.

Opened Window

He clutched his chest for he could not breathe.

You would have seen him gasping for air like a fish out of water, his mouth opened wide, his nostrils flaring. Veins of his neck were pulsing hard, he is frightened, overcome with fear.  In a matter of seconds, he dropped, dead. Surrounded by no one, witnessed by none, it might be the loneliest scenario one can die in.

It was unfortunate that he happened to be alone that night, deciding to spend his time in quiet and solitude, and… maybe some Netflix.

Almost three hours ago, he had ended his shift as a security guard in one of the most prestigious buildings in the city. His responsibilities included managing the security staff and knowing the movement of everyone in the building. Because of that, he was highly knowledgeable about the way the whole building ran.

He clocked off, walked out and cycled back home before stopping by at a small 24-hour bakery to buy some of his favourite bagels. Spread some butter and sweet strawberry jam on the toasty, warm bagels and he’ll never stop eating till they’re all gone.

His window was open.

Two hours ago, he unlocked the door to his apartment, placed the bagels on the kitchen table and went straight to the shower. His window was open.

An hour ago, he tucked himself in bed, flipped his laptop on, and started to watch Netflix. His window was open…

A few minutes ago, as he struggled to breathe, he glimpsed a shadowy figure at the corner of his room with bloodshot eyes staring directly at him, quiet, composed.

His window was still open.

Stop Oversharing 

I’ve come to the point in my experience with social media where I’m becoming increasingly aware whenever I overshared my life. 

This is especially so through Twitter where the ease to share a thought or an emotion is direct. Most of the time, passed without a thought. This satisfies one’s need to rant to the world and at the same time by being so-called ‘invisible’. 

I realised that I was beginning to share my most intimate thoughts and ideas, my most intimate emotions, and even ranting about things that really doesn’t value-add myself or society. 

This is why I’m confronting myself on this issue. People will have a bad perception of you when all they see through your Twitter is of you ranting, oversharing, sad… 

It makes you less attractive. 

Got to keep that mysterious side. 

How many of us have stayed true to our goals?

It is already June on the calendar. This means that half of the year has already passed us.

Therefore, I think it is a good time for a pitstop, to review what we’ve achieved in the past 6 months to pave a smoother next 6 months.

The last 6 months for me have been like the German autobahn, an expressway where the only constant is to be on the move. Looking back, I don’t remember once when I took an extended break like I currently am. It was just a blur. So many things happened and so many things didn’t.

To sum up the last 6 months, I feel utterly blessed for everything that has happened to me. The experiences I’ve gained and the opportunities that were given to me were nothing short of wonderful. As tiring as it was, I fell in love with the process. Every day was exciting.

At the start of the year, one of the goals that I made was to learn something every day. I might not have kept to writing every single day but I think for the majority of the time, lessons and thoughts I had were documented down either in this blog or on Medium. Whatever it is, I’m trying my best.

Also, one of my goals is to be proficient in Premiere Pro and recently, I’ve started on that journey. I’m currently learning cool transitions and it has been awesome.

I can’t wait to improve my video production quality for the future.

Stay true to your goals. Put in the work. Always.

Losing my purpose

I haven’t been doing much creative work as of late. I think just the thought of having too much time paralyses me into procrastination. I put off work day in and day out and it is not doing any good to my creativity.

Furthermore, I think I have been spending too much time on social media. I believe I’ve consumed more content than I produce (heck, the last time I posted something on Instagram was a week ago). This isn’t good. I feel like my mind is slowly emptying itself out.

I. Need. To. Create.

To be honest, it has already been a week of fasting and I’ve yet to get my bearings. Heck. I don’t know what’s becoming of me.

The constant thought of work paralyses me and I no longer feel motivated as before. I know… I know the importance of work but heck, I just don’t feel like it. But even if I laze around, I feel like I’m dying, my existence slowly slipping away into nothingness.

I think I’ve lost my purpose.

Maybe that’s what it is.

I need to get back to my old self, quick.

OH. And also, I think I’ve been oversharing on Twitter and I’m personally getting annoyed at myself. I’ll be taking a break.