Watch me.

Do you know what dreams are for?

Dreams give us an insight into what it might be if we have everything that we ever wanted.

Unfortunately, we cannot have everything that we want. In the end, they’ll just be dreams.

But the struggle to get everything drives life. The struggle to attain a little piece of our dreams keeps us alive. However, some of us will get close to achieving our dreams, so very close and they’re the lucky ones.

I dream of so many things, oh so many. Sometimes, I think I dream more than I strive.

This time it is going to be different.

Year 2 is going to be really different. I’m going to put those dreams into reality. I really will.

Just watch me.

 

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Surprises, Nostalgia

I don’t know why but as of late, I’ve been feeling rather nostalgic. It’s a really nice feeling, somewhat heart-warming but sometimes annoying. It is a yearning for something, something that I have yet to discover.

There are many things that I want but I know that I have to be patient. I’m only 22 and there are so much more paths for me to discover. Don’t limit. Be open.

Oh gosh, I’m really excited for what the future has for me. Gosh, I just hope the surprises Allah SWT have for me are good.

Emotions are freaking complicated.

I know I shouldn’t feel this way but I am.

Ahhh.

To be honest, I hate this emotion. It is as if I am defeated, crushed and destroyed. I mean it is just a battle within myself, it shouldn’t translate to the real world.

Oh gosh.

It needs to stop. Let me try sleeping it off. It might work… or not.

Be patient, Hakim. Be patient.

Do not rush. Be patient, it’ll be rewarding.

I’m rushing to feel how it is like to be in a relationship. I’m rushing to feel that ‘spark of life’ that everyone talks about when they’re in love. I’m rushing and wanting to know how it is like, how magical they portrayed it to be.

But I know I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t as it is for my own good.

Such things shouldn’t be rushed. Such things can and should wait.

Wait for what you might ask?

For the right time.

I received a splendid advice from a friend of mine recently about relationships. He is getting married next year so I think his advice is pretty legit.

I’m paraphrasing but he said that if you want to be in a relationship, you have to have the intention of marrying the person you’re in a relationship with. If not, it will just be a waste of time. All fun and games. Put forth that intention to the other party clearly. Tell them your intention and see whether they are interested in your proposition. If not, they are not worth your time. Ultimately, people should enter a relationship because of marriage and not for the fun and games which can lead to maksiat, one way or another.

He said that I have to be patient. Build a strong foundation first. Fix yourself, build yourself up, get a career, have savings, do what you really want and then propose when you think you are ready.

You might ask, what if someone takes her away from you? He said to keep her close. To always be in her social circle. If she is meant for you, Allah SWT will make it easy for you at the right time. So be patient.

And I guess that is what I will be doing. It isn’t practical at all to be in a relationship now. It’ll affect school, family and so on and so forth. It is better to move from one chapter of life to the next, one by one, and not mash them up altogether.

Be patient, Hakim. May Allah SWT guide you to the right path. Amin.

Invictus 2017

A few days ago, NUSMS-PBMUKS Freshmen Orientation Camp 2017: Invictus ended.

That was my third ad-hoc that I had joined in my Year 1 in NUS and it was an event that I will never forget.

To put it simply, Invictus 2017 was a hustle. It was purely blood, sweat and tears as we constantly work through our summer holidays to prepare the best orientation camp that the Freshmen will ever experience.

It began almost 7 months ago when I was told that the FOC required members. I was reluctant at first as I had already joined two other ad-hoc before, IAS & Rihlah, and I did not want to risk my education. However, as many had expected, I could not let go of this awesome opportunity to contribute and develop my skills further. You could say that the addiction had kicked in. So, after two weeks or so of contemplation, I decided to just go for it.

And I do not regret it.

From then on, it was months filled with meetings, planning, working and hustling. I was in the Publicity department (as usual), however, despite doing Publicity before in IAS, this position posed a new challenge to me: to outreach to a broader audience.

It was hard trying to test methods and techniques but Alhamdulillah, we managed to do it as we gathered about 80+ sign-ups.

Video editing and Photo editing were also something new to me. It was probably the first time I was placed to record and edit videos for a camp and the workload was pretty heavy. It just gave me a hint of how it would be like to edit a real film.

Alhamdulillah, people loved the videos and I’m just so glad.

Overall, Invictus 2017 was made awesome because of the people that I’d worked with. Without them, I don’t think I would experience the same wonderful things that I did. I truly learned to love them, each and every one of them. I really need to thank them for making my Y1 summer a thrill.


Dear Main Committee Members,

I hope all of you are doing well and I hope all of you are coping well with the withdrawals of FOC (because I am not). I hope all of you are enjoying the well-deserved break from school, work and whatever else that you had. I hope all of you are happy.

It was a pleasure working with all of you. It was a decision that I do not regret and will never regret.

As hard as it was to make the decision, it was a worth it. The experiences and lessons that I’ve gathered from the ad-hoc are irreplaceable. The friendships forged cannot be substituted.

May Allah SWT bless all of you with all the goodness in this world and the hereafter and may He guide all of us to the right path.

Amin.

I will miss all of you. :’)

Repentance.

All of us are sinners. Day in and day out, we sin.

However, a good Muslim seeks forgiveness every time he/she realised that they had sinned.

I had a problem with repentance. I never knew when I was completely sincere when I repent.

I feel as if my heart had grown cold, lifeless and dark. My mind wants to desperately repent, but somehow, my heart, the emotions that I feel, is the complete opposite.

I posted this question on Twitter and a few of my friends had reached out to me. Here are a few words that they had said:

Repentance (taubah essentially) has three components that make it complete:

1) regretting past actions
2) resolve to better oneself (the accurate word here is berazam. I cant think of a better eng word)
3) leaving past actions behind/ changing

In Tauhid in school, we learnt that all three of these must be present for Taubah to be complete.

And she’s right.

However, the problem is that I never know whether I am truly regretful. I do regret to a certain extent but if I constantly rush back to sin whenever I had the chance, is that truly regret?

Maybe not.

But the good thing is that Allah loves those who constantly seek repentance and he loves those who always want to better themselves. I guess as long as I try my hardest every single time, I can change and continue striving to be a better person.

Takes Time

A lot of things take time.

Good work takes time to be done.

Change takes time to happen.

Wounds takes time to heal.

We can’t rush things. Sometimes, rushing into things might turn it from bad to worse.

Got to learn to have patience.