All of us are sinners. Day in and day out, we sin.
However, a good Muslim seeks forgiveness every time he/she realised that they had sinned.
I had a problem with repentance. I never knew when I was completely sincere when I repent.
I feel as if my heart had grown cold, lifeless and dark. My mind wants to desperately repent, but somehow, my heart, the emotions that I feel, is the complete opposite.
I posted this question on Twitter and a few of my friends had reached out to me. Here are a few words that they had said:
Repentance (taubah essentially) has three components that make it complete:
1) regretting past actions
2) resolve to better oneself (the accurate word here is berazam. I cant think of a better eng word)
3) leaving past actions behind/ changing
In Tauhid in school, we learnt that all three of these must be present for Taubah to be complete.
And she’s right.
However, the problem is that I never know whether I am truly regretful. I do regret to a certain extent but if I constantly rush back to sin whenever I had the chance, is that truly regret?
But the good thing is that Allah loves those who constantly seek repentance and he loves those who always want to better themselves. I guess as long as I try my hardest every single time, I can change and continue striving to be a better person.