Repentance.

All of us are sinners. Day in and day out, we sin.

However, a good Muslim seeks forgiveness every time he/she realised that they had sinned.

I had a problem with repentance. I never knew when I was completely sincere when I repent.

I feel as if my heart had grown cold, lifeless and dark. My mind wants to desperately repent, but somehow, my heart, the emotions that I feel, is the complete opposite.

I posted this question on Twitter and a few of my friends had reached out to me. Here are a few words that they had said:

Repentance (taubah essentially) has three components that make it complete:

1) regretting past actions
2) resolve to better oneself (the accurate word here is berazam. I cant think of a better eng word)
3) leaving past actions behind/ changing

In Tauhid in school, we learnt that all three of these must be present for Taubah to be complete.

And she’s right.

However, the problem is that I never know whether I am truly regretful. I do regret to a certain extent but if I constantly rush back to sin whenever I had the chance, is that truly regret?

Maybe not.

But the good thing is that Allah loves those who constantly seek repentance and he loves those who always want to better themselves. I guess as long as I try my hardest every single time, I can change and continue striving to be a better person.

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