This week truly has been a week of reflecting. 

Now, at the MS retreat, lying down at the iktikaf area, I’m just reminded of how sucky I had been in the past. Not being close to what I could’ve been, the way I treat people, the way I do things… It’s all coming back to me.

I realised that I’ve been a douche. I guess. I played passive aggressive, trying to work my way around things… 

I don’t know. This sucks a lot.  But I’m glad that I realised this now. It is a stepping stone for me. A stepping stone for myself to be better. Well… talking about stepping stones, I’ve officially signed up for a Quram class. Alhamdulillah. 

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about my relationships with people a lot and how I had interacted with them in such relationships. It sucks how it has to be this way, how I had treated them, how I had felt now and then. 

Oh gosh. 

I just want to try to be a better person, if I had to become someone else in that pursuit, why not? 

Hmm… Gosh this is troubling. 


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