It took quite a while for me to start writing this.
The date was 8/5/2018 when I first asked her what is our status, whether we are dating or together. That was when I left everything from then on to fate.
It has already been a year together and despite all the fights that we had, the bickering that we do and all the disagreements, I think we can work out for the long run. In the past year, I truly had learnt a lot about her and about how relationships function. In the beginning, to be honest, I had this idealistic dream that everything will be smooth sailing from then on but obviously, I was wrong. There were so many things that I completely didn’t expect. Maklumlah, ini kali pertama dan insyaAllah yang terakhir. Anyway, I truly did learn a lot from her. This relationship showed me that I cannot always hold to the belief that she will accommodate to me but it is a shared responsibility to accommodate to one another. It has taught me about sacrificing your own selfishness for the benefit of another person. It has taught me to care, to respect and to hold my tongue when needed because I’m no longer only representing my self interests but that of hers too.
There will always be a moment in a man’s life where they will learn to become more mature. I guess this was my moment. She taught me to be more controlled and more mature in thinking and to always look for the good in others, to always put others before self and care for them regardless of their perceived intentions. She had showed me that one can always give back to society regardless of how small we think the action might be. However, ultimately, what she had shown me is her belief in Allah SWT and that she completely leave it up to Allah SWT for whatever that happens to her. Her level of syukur and trust in Allah’s plan had made me reflect on myself and of the actions I did. I’m ashamed…
I’m really ashamed of myself and it is a self-improvement journey that I will continue to struggle against. However, I’m just very happy that she’d stayed with me through all of this and I’m just glad that I’ve made the decision back then. I truly didn’t know what will happen back then but to be frank, I have no regrets at all. I’m blessed to be in her company and I just pray that she will be my happily ever after.