it’s over

I’m writing this after it has been made official that we are both going to go about our separate ways.

I don’t know what to feel except disappointment. I’m am utterly disappointed at myself.

After hearing her side of the story, I understood that she was very pessimistic of trying again and I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone that is half-hearted. Furthermore, it seemed as if she’s in so much pain when she’s in a relationship with me, not being able to release her frustrations… I guess it was the only right thing to do.

It hurts. Of course it hurts. There were so many good memories that I had with her, so many beautiful moments in my life that I will never forget but what can I do if I cannot provide what she needs. It is painful to know that you have to leave someone you care for so deeply. It is painful to let go of someone you loved so very much but it is the only good thing left that I can do.

I will try to win her back in the future once we’re better people. Maybe if she is truly my jodoh, it will happen regardless. I don’t know what He has planned for me but I’m just going to do good with the opportunities that lay in front of me. I guess we have to work on ourselves for we are broken people.

I’m just… I don’t know. I miss her a lot. I miss her smiles, her laughter, her everything but I know… I know that I have to let her go. I’m sorry friends and everyone that rooted for us. I guess things can happen to the best of us.

I really really like you Syazana, I don’t think that will change any time soon.

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