all of us want happiness but sometimes the happiness that we envisioned to be might not be the best for us.
Ustaz Mizi said in a tweet that to know that the person is for us is when we don’t know that we are falling in love. It is the kind of love that is easy and unexpected. We might not even be trying and we found our jodoh and I am coming to believe that that is how we should find the love of our lives. It does not mean that we do not try but it is when we are finding ourselves that unknowingly, we have found them.
and I wished to see that happen for myself.
and I think I cannot let go of the idea of being with her because she is the only relationship that I have ever known.
and I think the first thing I should, as painful as it is… is to stop trying. To stop trying to impress her, to stop trying to do good things for her, to stop going the extra mile for her. Because if she is meant for me, she would come back to me.
and maybe it is also a sign that I need to work on myself. I am not ready to be a husband nor a father. There are so many things that I want to do and so many dreams that I want to achieve… There are also so many things that I do not know about the world… and I guess if I am destined to be old and single, so be it (though I have yet to accept this fate if it so happens). I still doa that I will get married soon because I don’t want to be old and frail once my children are at their peak age. 😦
May Allah SWT make it easy for us.