i thought i was better. maybe not. i was hurt just by your presence. my heart hurts so much. i missed you. i missed talking to you and everything about you. a love that can never be reciprocated is one that hurts the most. i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i couldn’t be that one for you. i’m sorry that i couldn’t be there for you. i’m sorry that i loved you and still love you. i’m so sorry. i’m hurt and even after 3 months, i still feel the same way when you let me go, full of hope and love for you. i’m sorry that i couldn’t get better and i’m sorry that i couldn’t let you go. i’m just so sorry.

i don’t know what Allah SWT has planned for us but i hope it is for the best for both of us. i asked Him to distance you from me if you’re not meant for me but somehow, somehow you’re always there. i’m afraid of what i’d do, i’m afraid of what will happen if i begin to talk to you again… because i still love you, with all my heart. i couldn’t understand why i do but i do. i want for this pain to stop, to make this feeling go away into a noisy burr but i doubt it will… any time soon.

i’m so sorry ana for still loving you and for somewhat still being affected by it and i’m sorry that i can never tell you this to you because i never want to hurt you.

i want to move on and i pray pray so much that Allah SWT fixes my heart. i’m in pain, i really am in pain and i don’t know how long more. i have to be patient i know but it hurts.

my mind wants to let go but my heart… oh my poor heart doesn’t want to. i love you but i can no longer.

please allow me to let go ya Allah. please…

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