i know that you’re not looking for a relationship right now and that you’re not in the right state of mind.

but heck.

i miss you so much.

for three days we didn’t speak.

we didn’t even acknowledged one another.

but i just want you to know that i miss you so much. sh**. i know i have to move on. i know that you might not be the one for me but whenever i see your face, whenever i hear you speak, whenever there is an inkling of you… i recall of all the promises and all the things that could have been. i’m not nice. i’m not what you’re looking for. i know but oh please make this easy for me…

ya Allah why do i still have to feel this pain? ya Allah, why do i still feel sad? ya Allah, why can’t my heart move on. why does her face haunt me when i sleep, when i wake up, whenever…

ya Allah, my heart yearns comfort and only you can give me comfort and i sincerely beg you to give me some. i can’t focus like this… i can’t do anything like this ya Allah. please let me forget. please let me get better. ya Allah, please.

throughout the three days, i’m always on the lookout for her, i’m ashamed. i’m embarrassed to once call her ‘sayang’ and now, not even a smile. i’m sorry ana but i can’t bring myself to do it. i love you so much and i still do. oh my heart… please let her go.

it’s been 4 months and… sigh. let her go already.

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