Let’s do this!

my brain is messy. I haven’t been able to remember much things lately and it is slowly causing me problems. I think I am also having some trouble focusing. I sometimes wonder if it is because I haven’t offloaded in quite a while… maybe?

I don’t know. Regardless, many things have happened since I last wrote here and I guess why I’m writing less is a good sign that everything has been good so far, insyaAllah.

Hmm… where shall I begin? I don’t know. Hm… I think I can begin from me joining this new band of creatives called Miamorements. Quite a cool team and I’m loving my time with them. Well… despite damaging one of the lenses, I think everything else is fine and dandy. I love how everyone is so in tuned with each other and understood the geeky nonsense that comes out from out mouths. I also love how we are all just freelances trying to make an impact in this already saturated market and we’re all trying to have our piece of the pie. I also love how I finally have a group of people that I can relate with and hustle with. It is amazing. I can’t wait to work with them in the future. But aside from that, I think I too have to work on my own. I have to hustle harder in terms of being a photographer and my own business. I want to also try to find a job which I guess… in some way I did?

I landed an interview with MOE which will be happening this coming Tuesday. I think I should be nervous but currently, I’m not? I think I just have to prepare some materials for the interview and really re-calibrate my intentions and truly think about the possible questions that they might ask. I’m very much interested to be a teacher but also nervous as to the responsibilities that comes with it. May the interview goes smoothly, insyaAllah.

Anyway, I guess for now, you can say that on the career side of things, I have it all figured out? I hope. I think if it is meant for me, it will come one way or another but if it is not, I’m still fine with it. I trust in His plans and so far, I’m comfortable where I am though it would be good if I have an extra few thousand dollars lying around. I am still grateful for the life I have nonetheless.

Hmm… Now on to the more ‘interesting’ part of my life… relationships.

I can say that I am completely over her? Hm… I think so though I have to admit that if she comes running back to me, I would still give it a shot though I know that our interests are very much different. There are only a few people that can handle my nonsense, one being, Marcus because he is worse than me and second maybe is idk… but yeah which is why this new girl is fascinating. She is not yet annoyed at me to the extent that she is tired of layaning me. It is just amazing I tell you. I am low-key amazed that she kept up with me all these while. I’m really very much chaotic and I don’t even think I can handle myself but she is doing it very very well. Am impressed. People always asked me as to what I should do or rather, what I want to do about it but to be honest, I don’t know. This is when I truly have to dig into my own soul and ask myself whether I am ready to move on to the next step or not. Hm. Do I still want to play around? I know the question of ‘there will always be someone better’ is just something that we should learn to put aside and believe that this person is already the best for me but sometimes I can’t stop that thought from coming up. Hmmm…

But I think maybe I should give this a chance? Maybe I should continue doing istikharah and truly go je? I don’t know what’s stopping me? Is it fear? I think it is. Sigh, grow together… hm. I should prepare a list of questions to ask her. I think I will… soon. Hm.

Anyway, that’s all for now? I think. Oh. I need to hustle harder. There are a few things that I need to purchase such as upgrading my camera and getting an iPAD Pro. Hm… let’s do this.

Bismillah.

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