insanity.

good afternoon.

there are many things on my mind, I mean, as always but today I just want to talk about something. I think it is important for me or maybe it can be an exciting thing for me.

I want to get back into minimalism. I think in the past few weeks, I have been so involved in life or rather, not caring about life that I have neglected my life or the neatness of my life. I think aside from my constant worry about my finances, there are also other things that lead to me having a very confusing time in life. I think my life is slowly getting messy and I need to clear things up and get a routine back in order.

Firstly, I think I need to reduce my wardrobe. I mean… I have already done it once but since my mom wants to donate some clothes to Indonesia, I think why not take the chance. There is this 333 challenge of minimalism which is to only wear 33 pairs of clothes for 3 months. I have already done it in Korea and I think I can still manage it in Singapore. I have been wearing the same clothes the past few weeks and I think for now, my style has been the same. It is unchanging. Hm… and I kind of like this style now.

Anyway, that is one. So yea, I have to clean up my wardrobe. Next, I have to figure out a cleaning schedule. I have been using up my socks at a rapid pace and I have not yet able to clean them on time. I have been washing my trousers at a rapid pace and that is good but the socks… hmm… Let’s see.

Next, I have to streamline my projects. I have so many ambitions and it is actually taking a toll on my mind. It gets confusing and dividing my attention. I also cannot seem to work at my room for long. Either it gets too hot or I get distracted by something. I need a change of environment. Currently, I am at Maxx Coffee in NUS and I am really loving the vibe now. Good posture and stuff.

Okay, next, iman. I have to admit that my iman has taken a toll the past few weeks. I mean especially since Korea. I want to get it back on track and I think there are several ways of doing it. However, I feel that sometimes I tend to lose motivation? I’m forcing myself to do some more spiritual things like today, I’m going to meet a friend of mine to recite a few surahs. I think even though my recitation is kinda trashy, I think it will be a start. Bismillah.

Hm. There is also this concern about my love life. Hm… do I really like her? I don’t know. I think I do but I don’t know whether I want to commit. I think I am afraid of making a mistake. I think I do.

These are just some things to think about.

To be honest, a friend of mine asked me today, what am I waiting for? Precisely… I don’t know.

“Insanity is when you do something over and over again expecting a different outcome.”

I have brought my A game of annoyance and haven’t been the best to her and she can still tolerate me. I think it might mean something. I think I should be nicer to her. Hm… I mean I don’t want her to be hurt at the end of the day. Oh gosh.

I think I’m just waiting for her to show a red flag. I know that’s kind of rude but… sigh.

I don’t know. sigh. 😦

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