Living like we’re dying

Living like we’re dying.

I’m pretty sure most of us have heard that phrase being thrown around. Especially during times of stress or when people give you advice.

They would say, “We should live like we’re dying because we will never know when we’re going to die.”

or

“You might not have another chance, GO LIVE LIKE YOU’RE DYING!”

But, is it right for us to live like we’re dying? Is it even possible for us to live like our lives are in a constant struggle?

That would lead to some really bad choices, wouldn’t it?

I mean, in the case of terminal illness whereby the doctor tells you that they don’t know how long you have left or that you only have X months left, wouldn’t the phrase, “Living like we’re dying” have a more legitimate reason?

However, in actual fact, even healthy people like us don’t really know how long we have left. The unexpectedness of death is just inevitable. Should we then lead our lives as if we’re dying?

Maybe there is a balance to be struck here. A balance between enjoying ourselves like it is our last and a balance of making rational decisions.

But to figure out which spectrum of ‘living’ we should be is a case-by-case basis.

Ultimately, we need to get used to the idea of death and how real it is. This does not me acclimatise ourselves, to numb ourselves of the idea of death, but instead to accept it as the inevitability of life itself, to know that it is happening and find comfort that everyone till the end of time will experience it with you.


P.S. I guess the fear of death stems from the fear of missing out (FOMO). We fear that by dying we might miss out on a lot in this world. We fear that we might leave this life without truly living, without truly experiencing the fullness and wholeness of life.

To accept that is something that I will let you ponder on.

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Stop assuming, Hakim

Hakim.

You don’t know people.

So stop assuming that you do.

What you know about others is just a fraction of who they are. They wouldn’t let someone like you know everything about them. They aren’t like you, letting the whole world know about their lives, every moment of it.

You need to learn to respect their privacy, to know that people release bits and pieces of themselves slowly to you as they start to trust you. Never assume that what you know is their whole story. Don’t finish off their sentences, don’t cut into their sentences, don’t interject, interrupt, intrude and never ever talk more about yourself than about the person you’re talking to.

Show respect, have fun when the time is right, but always guard your manners and the art of engagement.

I know, sometimes you slip up, forget something, make a mistake but know this, apologise and move on. We’re humans, we fail sometimes and it is up to us to pick ourselves back up and start stronger.

Be conscious of your actions and your interactions with other people. Be humble, know that people love to talk about themselves and you should let them, maybe, through that you’d know more about them.

The Heart is a Wild Thing

Sometimes it becomes hard to find the distinction between needs and wants.

As humans, we yearn for the things that we do not have.

But to what extent do we follow our heart’s desires?

The heart is a wild thing with its ever-changing needs and wants. It aches when it wants something, attempting to influence your rational mind to listen to it. Sometimes, we fall into its trap, giving in to the desires but most of the time (I hope), our rational mind is able to take back control.

Allow me to give an example. Have you ever had a crush? Do you recognise that familiar feeling of ache and pull towards that someone, whoever it might be? You thought that it might only be once, but as you lead through life, you realised that that feeling happens over and over again. You began to question whether it is a special kind of feeling or if it is just the game of the heart?

Sometimes, we gave in, the desires were strong enough to force us into action, and so we did. But, if it happens countless times, how will we know that the choice we make and the actions that we take is the right one?

I guess this is where the rational mind must come in to tame the wild heart.

There are also other ways the heart attempts to influence you i.e. shopping, games. All of them works the same way whereby the heart aches for it.

Thus, in my opinion, it is crucial for the rational mind to tame the heart, to bring it other control. The only way to do it is to practise. To be conscious that your heart is trying to influence you, get control of it, tell it ‘No’.

An Academic?

I truly, wholeheartedly, admire people who seek knowledge and strive to be the best in what they do, especially academics.

I admire professors, scholars, researchers and people who delve deep into their respective fields not because they need to but because they want to.

And I guess, deep inside, I really want to be just like them.

If I were to go back to my blog post from the beginning of university, I’m sure I had written something along the lines of wanting to be an academic who seeks knowledge because of interest and not because of need. I think that was what drove me forward in the first semester.

However, along the way, I begin to forget that primary mindset, I begin to lose touch on what really mattered.

And I guess, because of that I focused on the wrong things.

To be honest, the thought of just “screw everything” had been playing in my mind, a small annoyance that will gradually get bigger if I don’t get my sh** together quickly. But I know that it shouldn’t be entertained. I love school and all aspects of it but only if I’m in the right state of mind.

After listening to one of my lecturers talked about Darwin’s and his own challenges faced as ‘seekers of the truth’, I realised how insignificant my problems were. I realised that my mind had been pre-set in the wrong state since the beginning of this semester, I should be focusing on the learning and love for the subject and not treat it as ‘just another module’.

I want to be an academic, grasp mastery of my field whatever it might be. I shall work towards it with renewed conviction that I will achieve that.

Chaos

Finding structure in chaos.

When I think about chaos, I imagine a dark whirling tornado that warps the fabric of space and time.

A deep kind of darkness where nothing escapes its grasp, not even light.

Chaos.

It would be an overstatement to say that my life is in that current state, however, it would be an understatement not to. But you won’t see it because it’s all in my mind.

I cannot see structure in this chaos that threatens to consume me whole,

All I could see is the dying light that is tinkling like shining gold.

It would be great if I could just find structure,

In this state of disaster,

At least something that can help me,

Through the rest of the semester.

Either one…

If there’s one thing that I learn from these past few weeks of chaos is that one cannot have everything.

There is always a choice to be made; either this or that.

One cannot ever have the time to do everything they put their mind to. One can try… but that’s it.

We have 24 hours in a day but do we actually?

I mean, minus sleep, minus travel, minus meals, etc, how much time do we actually have left?

Furthermore, when one worked until the next day, sleep has to be repaid. That would take more time off of the new day.

You see, time is there but it is always and will always be limited.

Thus, a choice has to always be made.

So, what do I choose now?

It boggles me…

that I have the same number of hours as a hustling entrepreneur, a doctor, a lawyer, a farmer in a day and I still struggle to complete as many tasks in a day as them.

I just cannot comprehend where did that gap and time disappear to.

It is as if time magically went away.

I don’t know why but it is just hard to find time amidst the daily chaos of having an ad-hoc.

I mean, it truly boggles me how successful people can force as many tasks to do as possible into a single 24-hour day. I’m just here still struggling to even do pre-lecture preparation.

I think some sacrifices have to be made and as such as my previous post, I might also have to learn prioritization.