Good Will Hunting

I’m currently watching a movie called, ‘Good Will Hunting’ starring Robin Williams and Matt Damon. In that movie, there’s a particular scene which really struck me about what it means to experience true love.

“That’s why I’m not talkin’ right now about some girl I saw at a bar twenty years ago and how I always regretted not going over and talking to her. I don’t regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy. I don’t regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick. And I don’t regret the last years when she got really sick. And I sure as hell don’t regret missin’ the damn game. That’s regret.”

— Sean Maguire (Robin Williams)

William Hunting, Matt Damon, asked Sean Maguire if he regretted missing a legendary game for a girl he did not even know, Sean replied that he did not regret it at all because that girl was the one he truly loved from the moment he set his eyes on her.

In that short quote, it struck me at how much he was willing to sacrifice for his wife, to be with her without complaints, and to love her unconditionally even as she was dying.

It is really telling about what it means to experience true love. You are willing to do anything for that person, and you would sacrifice anything without hesitation.

I guess, you do not regret a single moment that you spent with them. The fighting, the arguments, all pales in comparison to the love that you have for each other.

And I hope that one day, I will be able to experience that same type of love.

 

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A perfect dream

She looked up at me with her big, brown eyes.

She raised her hands up,

Begging me to lift her.

 

She has a full head of hair,

Jet black in colour,

Tied in a loose ponytail.

 

She’s so beautiful,

Just like her mother,

And I hope,

That’ll she’ll grow up to be,

Kind, caring and loving,

Just like her mother.

 

I bent down,

Lift her up,

And gave her a kiss on the cheek,

She giggled and hugged my neck,

Her head resting against mine.

 

Her mother looked at me and smiled,

And come to hug the both of us,

A soft bump,

barely seen,

The four of us,

In a long embrace.

 

That is the perfect family,

In my opinion,

The perfect dream,

That I would want to be in.

 

 

Never Let Go

Most of the time, I feel that we do not show enough appreciation to the people around us, to the people that have raised us, to the people that have loved us unconditionally, to the people that have helped us in our darkest of times.

Sometimes, I feel that we are taking advantage of those people because we think we can. Maybe we think that we have the time to.

We do not realise that we don’t.

Because every moment that we spent existing is a moment shorter spent with your loved ones, a moment shorter to hug them, to feel them, to smell them…

And when they are taken away from us, it will all be too late.

Even now, I regret the many moments that I had wasted not spending time with my parents (they are still alive, may they have a long life ahead) and it will continue to be a lost till I die.

However, I make it a habit to hug them whenever I can and to spend some time with them whenever I can. I want to show them that I care and I appreciate them.

Love your family, your sons, your daughters, whomever that you cherish and never let go.

 

 

MOTHERS’ DAY

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Mothers’ Day

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Mothers carry us for 9 months. They had cravings, felt sick every morning, felt pain around their backs and felt sore all over but even after all that, they were excited to have you.

During labour, they felt intense pain, breathlessness and some might even have passed out. Some sacrificed beauty by undergoing Cesarean section just to bring you into this world but even after all that, they were so happy to see your beautiful face with your cute little hands and feet and holding you in their arms.

Once they brought you home, their sleep was disturbed by your constant crying, they had to change your diapers, feed you and cleaned you but even after all that, they were glad that you are in their lives.

Growing up, they had to deal with your antics, your problems that you faced and become your saviour every time you made a mess but even after all that, they love you with all their heart. They do all of that because they are your mothers and they will forever love you unconditionally.

They do all of that because they are your mothers and they will forever unconditionally love you.

As most of us know, today is Mothers’ Day and there would be an influx of posts showing dedications, appreciations and love for their mothers on social media but we need to do more beyond that. We need to show them love and care in our character and in our daily interactions with them. We should kiss them, hug them or help them around the house if we can, daily.

Also, we need to move beyond the gifts. Honestly, I feel that the act of giving gifts to mothers is a business tactic to market to people who do not have the courage to show real love to their mothers but expect materialism to cover up their flaw as a child. It is the easy way out for such people.

Honestly, mothers do not expect gifts but instead, they expect love and company of their children. By just being there for your mother when she needs you or the simple act of talking to her would be sufficient for her.

We can give whatever reasons that we want to explain why such things are impractical but listen here, your mother sacrificed her life to have you. She could have done so many other things with her life such as having a successful career, being free from problems associated with raising a child and live happy, independently. However, she decided to have you. She decided to raise you, feed you and teach you how to survive in the world. She decided to put you first in her life. She decided to take the day off from work when you were sick, she decided to work hard so that you can have that toy that you have always wanted and she decided to stay at home with you just so you could sleep well at night. She sacrificed everything because she decided that you are the coolness of her eyes and nothing will ever change that. So do not disappoint her, give her a hug now and tell her how much you cherish her.

Happy Mothers’ Day to all mothers out there!

 

We Are All Human

Recently, I watched a video made from a compilation of clips of American soldiers returning home to visit their loved ones. They were reunited beautifully through embrace and teary kisses. It was amazing and beautiful to see the soldiers and their loved ones so happy. Their faces were lit with intense joy and happiness which I think one can only understand if they experienced it themselves. Emotions welled up in me and after a brief moment, I realised why.

These people, soldiers of the American army, they returned to their loved ones after working for long periods overseas in dangerous and hostile places. They returned to see their loved ones and being glad that their loved ones are safe. We expect these soldiers – tasked to serve and protect their nation, trained to survive in harsh conditions and some, if not all, had killed people – to have crude and emotionless hearts, however, the video showed that they are still able to show so much love. It is for this very reason that I felt emotional. It shows that at the very heart of war, there are human beings with human hearts and human emotions.

The thought begged me to rethink about everything we had assumed about our enemies. Maybe they are not enemies at all. Maybe, they are just people wanting to keep their families and loved ones safe, people who just wants to safeguard whatever and whoever they treasure just like us.

If we strip the loyalty of these soldiers, if we strip their nationalities and race, if we strip every single ideology that they seemed to be upholding, we can see the true reason why they are fighting. It is not for democracy nor communism, it is not for their country, it is not for the cruel and dishonest leader of their nation but it is for their loved ones. It is to see their loved ones safe with the chance to grow up normally and become wonderful adults who are beneficial to society.

Take a look at your so-called ‘enemies’. Do you think that they are doing it for a power-hungry leader? Do you think that they are doing it for their own personal glory? Do you think that they even want to fight? No, but the situation forces them to. These people are human beings with human hearts and human emotions. It is inborn to protect your loved ones, to fight just to see your loved ones safe at the end of the day. These people are just like you and I. When someone threatens to harm your loved ones and invade your livelihood, you will definitely stand and fight.

Therefore, we need to realise that we are not at all different. It just so happens that our ‘leaders” interests were in conflict and they had decided that going to war would be a highly viable solution.

We need to recognise that in war, there are human beings with human hearts and human emotions and these human beings are the ones mostly affected by the conflict. Our ‘enemies’ also want to go home to visit their loved ones and embrace them with tears in their eyes just like us.

Therefore, I suggest that all of us rethink about everything that we know about who our enemies are, about what we were told about our enemies and why are they even our enemies. You will soon realise that our enemies are just like us and at the very core of every war is because someone started to threaten the safety of another’s loved ones. If we understand that, I am very sure that that empathetic approach will solve so many of our problems.

Love Your Parents

Love Your Parents

 

All of us are so preoccupied with our own lives; we go to school or work, we travel and explore, we celebrate our birthdays and went to our friends’ parties but we never took a moment to recognise that as we are growing up and discovering life, our parents are also getting older.

My mother has this condition where her hair will start to thin and new hair fails to grow. This causes her to have a growing bald spot from her hairline till the centre of her scalp. So, when I played around with her hair, I realised that her bald spot had become very obvious. It had never been so bad before and I was quite taken aback. Soon, I realised that it was another sign of her ageing. It was her birthday that day and she just turned 49. At that moment, the realisation of my parents’ mortality dawned on me.

I tried not to picture her old and frail in 20 years time, requiring assistance to move from point to point. I tried not to imagine her requiring help to put food into her mouth. I tried not to imagine her health failing and seeing, probably the darkest time in my life, fast approaching. However, it is something I need to prepare for. As dark as it may be, it is something that will eventually happen. It is something that I do not want to be caught completely off guard.

Every single birthday, every single year, as we turn 20, 21, or whatever age we may be, we also need to remember that our parents are turning 50, 51 or even older. We also need to remember that age is catching up with them and their health might also be steadily deteriorating. Unfortunately, It is one of the facts of life. One day, our parents will turn old and frail. They will become dependent and it is up to you to care for them and ensure that their welfare is taken care of. One day, their health will turn for the worse and you will have to face the inevitable scenario.

I suggest all of you to take a good look at your parents and see age catching up with them: their facial skin drooping and loosening, their hair falling, and their skin wrinkling.

Therefore, we need to realise that our time with them is finite and a majority of our time now should be spent with them. I am not saying that we should forgo our own lives and our own aspirations but instead, we should prioritise them first. If we have to choose between going for a last minute meeting or a dinner with them that had been planned for a while, we should choose the latter.

Do simple acts of kindness for them, be there for them, help ease their lives for them, for were they not there for you when you were small and powerless?

Love them, cherish them and know that whatever they did for you can never be repaid and every moment that passes, your darkest days are slowly approaching.

I try to be secular on this site, but there is an ayah from the Al-Quran that captures the idea of this whole article:

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.

– Surah Al-Isra, Quran 17:23