Guidance

Upon reaching our twenties, most of us want to be independent. We take flight from the nest as soon as we can, be it after we graduate from a Polytechnic, Junior College or University. We want to lead our own lives because we finally can. I’m in my twenties and I know how you feel. We want to embrace our new found freedom and finally, be an adult.

However, new found freedom comes with a need to be responsible. As we embrace the freedom of being an adult, some of us are still stuck in the mentality of a teenager. We are not able to grasp the concept of being responsible for our actions and we fail to realise that we are liable for everything that we do.

Maybe it is not our fault, we did spend 20 or so years under the shelter of our parents, being told what to do and when to do it. Some of us had curfews. Some of us had our whole life planned out by our parents from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed and some of us do not even know how to stand up for ourselves, always hoping for our parents to step in when in trouble — Yes, I have met some people that are like that, unfortunately.

Maybe it is the way we were raised, maybe it is the education system, maybe it is even the fault of the society at large. There are so many reasons that might be the cause of this lack of responsibility in young adults and even though most of them are valid, we should not allow that to be the norm, forget about it and continue our irresponsible ways.

As much as I hate to say it, we still need guidance. Not guidance from our parents and teachers only but guidance from the seniors in life. Yes, our twenties is the time when we learn to manoeuvre life, yes, our twenties is the time when we learn things by doing and yes, our twenties is the time for us to be completely independent but think about it… Most of us were lost when we turn 20. We have no bloody idea how to lead life. For heaven’s sake, we just completed 16+ years of continuous schooling and the last time I checked, school teaches nothing about real life.

As we attempt to navigate the rough world just as we completed school, the lack of experience and sometimes an immature mindset might cause us to commit certain mistakes. Mistakes that could have been avoided if we had been humble enough to receive guidance.

The twenty-somethings need to know that becoming an adult comes with responsibility, responsibility for one’s actions. Whatever we do have consequences and sometimes, those consequences are irreversible.

Thus, I personally feel that we can learn a lot from the seniors of life. By tapping on their wealth of experiences, their knowledge and their thoughts, the twenty-somethings (including myself) can learn a lot about how to navigate through life and receive advice to tackle different situations. However, to do that, we have to be open-minded and be humble enough to accept their advice.

All twenty-somethings need to realise that we need help. Do not reinvent the wheel. Learn from those more senior than you, do not be arrogant, and accept guidance whenever you can.

 

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Prioritise Parents

Are your parents your first priority?

Before I begin, in this article I would be referencing to certain Islamic sources but I assure you that even Non-Muslims will be able to relate and understand.

Today was Friday and like every other Friday, Muslims are required to attend the Friday Prayers at the mosque and like every other, there would be a Friday Sermon followed by the Friday Prayers itself. The topic of the Friday Sermon was Developing Humbleness Through Acts of Rituals and the thing that made me emotional was a part telling us about the weakness of every human being:

“The Prophet s.a.w. said in a hadith: “Whoever is not grateful to people, is not grateful to Allah.” [Hadith narrated by Ahmad] This hadith hence serves as a reminder to us that we are weak and are in constant need of others in order to live comfortably. It also reminds us that we were once helpless and weak, but Allah has blessed us with a family and parents who showered us with their love. They took care of us, attended to us and raised us. So let us not forget to always make du’a for them after our every prayer: “O Allah, please forgive my sins and the sins of my parents, and have mercy upon them, like how they were towards me when they were nurturing me during my childhood.””

That last line was like a hard kick to the face.

We are nothing without our parents. From a small baby being just a few seconds old until we have grown up into an adult, we need our parents every step of the way. When we were hungry, they were they ones who cooked or bought for us food. When we were sick, they were the ones who took care of us until we healed. When we were sad and feeling down, they were the ones who showed care and compassion when no one else would. They were the ones who groomed us to become who we are today. We cannot be where we are today without their help and therefore, how could we even consider finding them annoying or a nuisance?

Your parents had their whole life planned out until you arrived which then, you became their plan. They sacrificed everything for you, their wealth, their careers, and even their friends just to nurture and spend time with you. They always have you in mind, thinking about whether you are eating well, whether you are comfortable and whether you are well taken care of.

You are the world to your parents and you have and will always be their first priority.

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, that you are not prioritising them over everything else?

Our parents do not deserve a child that does not love them back, that is rude to them and that does not think that they are worth the time. They deserve better.

Therefore, I urge all of us, to understand that our parents never had it easy raising us. They never stopped worrying about us. For all that they did for us, all the sacrifices they made, all we have to do is to show them that they are our utmost priority and that they are worth a whole lot to us. Love them and cherish them.

I Am Afraid

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I Am Afraid

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I am afraid. I am afraid of death, loss of time, broken relationships, change, memory loss and so much more.

There are so many things beyond my control, beyond our control. We cannot control when we die, how our life will ultimately turn out or what illness might befall us in the future. We also cannot control the outcome of our hard work, patience, and dedication.

It scares me to realise that there are so many things beyond my control and everything that will happen in the future from now on would be a mystery. The only way to find out is to live it. It scares me to know that as we grow older, we are closer to death. It scares me to know that as we grow older, whatever we came to understand and know about the world will change. Technology will advance, societies will prosper, countries will rise and fall and landscapes will change. It scares me to know that all the fun and games of childhood and teenagehood have come to an end and the cruelty and harsh environment of adult life have arrived. From going to school every single day, studying and playing games, we moved on to celebrating birthdays and graduations and now, the next milestones are marriages and career progressions.

I have been doing some thinking. I have thought about what will happen in 50 years. It will be the year 2066 and throughout the years from 2016 to 2066, some of us might have passed on, most of our parents would too, some might have raised happy families while others not. Some of us might have already retired and are enjoying our golden years while others might still be chasing after their dreams. Most of us would also experience the pains of life such as failed careers, divorces, deaths of loved ones and a whole lot of heartbreak. The world would also see radical changes. As technology has progressed, we might have solved food shortages or poverty. We might also see the beginning of establishing ourselves as a galactic species with new colonies on Mars.

I am afraid of the many things that will happen in my lifetime, the things that I will experience and the things that I will encounter. I am afraid of the pain that I have to endure in the future and the experiences that life will put me through.

However, this is life and all of us have to through it no matter what. The only thing will make everything better is how we face the problems that life throws at us.