The Fall of Aleppo

I just can’t. Honestly, my heart slowly breaks apart into a million pieces as I watch these videos. I’m distraught, waking up to such terrible news, to such a massacre that we have allowed to happen on this beautiful planet.

There was a time when I thought humanity could pull through this, could finally make a difference but I guess, it was a time that has long passed.

People die every single day but it seems that some deaths are more meaningless than others. These people do not deserve to die, these people do not deserve to be exterminated in a way that is worse than animals.

But unfortunately, we can’t do anything, can we?

As we sit here in the comfort of our homes and as those trapped civilians huddle together in a basement somewhere, the politicians are laughing, smiling and celebrating. I’m sure they’re happy with what they have done. A massacre, an extermination.

Let’s put aside petty differences such as ideologies, race, religion and language and look into their eyes and know that they are human just like us. If you cannot empathise¬†with them on that basis, I don’t know what will.

I guess, all we could do is pray. Pray for their safety, pray for their souls to be martyred, pray for their sins and our sins to be forgiven.

All I can see is that they did no harm but they are victims of a world where selfishness and greed thrives.

May Allah SWT help them.

Let’s talk.

Tonight, I’m going to be frank with you.

Recently, self-doubt has slowing been creeping up on me. I started to question my capabilities, my efforts and my strengths.

I began to question whether I am able to do this student thing, whether I am able to succeed in it, and whether I’m putting enough effort like the rest of the students.

I feel as if my life is slowly breaking apart.

I don’t feel motivated as of late. Instead, I feel frustrated and disappointed. Every single day seemed to be yet another worthless, unproductive one.

Furthermore, everybody else seems to be doing better than myself.

I haven’t met any of my expectations and every single thing that I do is followed by an unwavering sense of disappointment.

I’m slowly being crushed, not by work, but by my inability to control my own mind and body.

Honestly, I just don’t know what works anymore. Exercise, coffee, sleep, whatever.

A day is no longer enough to complete anything and I’m frustrated because of that.

I need to get my sh*t back together, and soon.

Honestly, I can tell myself that for millions of times but it is very unlikely that in the next few posts I’d get my life back together.