You’re Gonna Die

“You’re Gonna Die?” asked my friend as he looked at me with a puzzled face.

“Yeah,” I replied.

He was actually talking about my homepage wallpaper which has the words “You’re gonna die” written clearly on the screen. It was a wallpaper by Gary Vaynerchuk.

That question was brought up multiple times and every single time, it was accompanied with a face of curiosity and confusion.

 

Screenshot_20170306-230802.png
My homepage wallpaper.

 

Yes. Yes. A pretty bleak statement. I know. But I guess, I love it. I just love the thought of it, the darkness of that statement, knowing that you’re going to die at any moment. A reminder that you need to put in your best in everything that you do.

Whenever I see that line, every time I look at my phone, it reminds me of the shortness of life, of our own mortality, and that we have to face it one day.

It reminds me to always put in my best in everything that I do and to remember that that might be the last time that I’ll be doing it. Because, who knows how long we’ll live.

I love the bleakness of the message, succinct and clean. A tight slap to my face for it is true and the only definite fact that we will have in our lives. No fluff, no nothing. Just the truth.

I guess this kind of motivation doesn’t suit everyone but it does help me. Hope that answers your question.

 

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Head in the Game

I’m in the midst of writing a long form post for IAS2017. However, I would require more time to complete it. Furthermore, it would include photographs and such and thus, would really require time for it to be a good one. One that encapsulates my experience in IAS2017 as a whole.

Anyway, I did not really do much today and I realised that the stagnation stresses me out. I have this intense need to study every single time and if I don’t (like during my peak busy periods), I’ll stress the hell out.

But I did not study today for something understandable and thus, I shall attempt to shrug it off.

Anyway, I still have much to learn in the art of saying ‘No’. Just a thought.

I have 2 mid-terms left and I somehow have this emotion of elation and excitement as if Finals have already ended. I need to put my head back in the game and focus on these two examinations that are slowly creeping in.

Let the hustle reignite.

Hiatus

I took a two-day (unplanned) hiatus from blogging because I was busy (is it?) with Rihlah 1438H and also my mid-terms.

Anyway, many things had happened in the past two days, one being that my 2nd adhoc project, Rihlah 1438H has finally ended! It was a wonderful experience and more of it in an upcoming future blog post (I still have yet to post IAS’s).

Second, mid-terms for CM1401 and LSM1105 is over today! Ahh. It feels amazing to get these two modules, which I was really worried for, over and done with.

InsyaAllah tomorrow, I will be posting the IAS blog post + thoughts and reflections.

Now, with both adhoc down, it is time for me to focus on NUSMS FOC. đŸ™‚

Wish me luck, Hustle, always.

Third Month of 2017

Hold on to your seats! We are nearing the third month of 2017!

Such fast! Such time! Whatttttt!

It truly felt as if time flew past by too quickly. I still have yet to get my bearings right though I’m glad I can finally allocate more time to my studies.

Unfortunately, however, my mid-terms are coming up next week and 5 weeks-ish after that would be my Finals thus, there really isn’t much time to waste.

I guess this post is just to check in with what I have achieved thus far, to reflect on the two months that had passed.

I’m sure some of you already know that I set New Year’s Resolutions. This year, however, is just an extension of last year’s which is to continue to improve my creative skills and be more proactive in seeking out knowledge and volunteering. So, I did just that. In the first two months (more of a continuation of last year), I was a part of Islam Awareness Series 2017 and coming soon, Rihlah 1438H. Both I consider as volunteering. I also joined FOC 2017 (I just couldn’t resist) which is currently in its planning stages.

I’m still pretty active in Silat (hmm… though fitness has yet to improve). However, I’ve begun to neglect my powerlifting training, pushing time and effort into the ad-hocs and my studies.

Deep down, I guess what I’m trying to find are opportunities, opportunities to go higher in university and in life, opportunities that will make me into a better person and bring me closer to my dream.

Well, all of that looks fine and dandy but I have to always remind myself that I’m a student first and studies should always be prioritised.

Okay.

Just a small update on lifestyle. I’m still trying to get a hang on the long days and short nights (coffee helps a bit). With regards to creativity, I’m falling short and missed an amazing opportunity to shoot for a competition because of the upcoming examinations. However, I’m sure there’ll be much more to come.

Exercise is currently on a seesaw. Fitness dropping, stamina too. I would need to revise on my scheduling.

I guess that’s all for now. I have a few projects coming soon and I will keep this blog updated.

It’s All About The Hustle. Always.

 

 

I write…

Oh my. I want to write so bad, I could feel my mind ticking for every moment that passes.

My fingers itched to slam down my thoughts onto that keyboard, to hear the beautiful clicking and tapping of the keys.

I couldn’t wait to share with the world, my ideas, my inspiration and my eureka moments. I. just. could. not. wait.

Therefore, as if I have an idea that could change the current paradigm of the world, I began to type.

But who am I kidding?

I ain’t Charles Darwin with years of knowledge, scientific research and adventures to back up his theory.

I ain’t Plato with philosophical ideas and stories that could wreck havoc in the minds of 20-year-olds today.

I ain’t George R.R. Martin with a creative mind that can build worlds that beautify the minds of readers.

I’m just a blogger, a passionate wannabe writer, a creative-in-progress.

Why would anyone want to listen to my ideas, my thoughts, my perspective for I have no credentials nor a reputable reputation?

I guess, I just love the feeling of typing, of sharing, of clearing my mind of the daily baggage of ideas and creativity. It does not matter if no one reads it. It truly doesn’t matter.

I write because ultimately, it is for the past me, the current me and the future me.

Maybe one day I’ll be good enough move up a level, to step out of the blogosphere and into real writing. Maybe.

Improving the Self

What is life without the drive to continuously improve yourself?

I’ve always been afraid of one thing, being stagnant. Last week was a good example of that fear in real life. It was in class when half-way through the lesson, I realised that I did not know anything about the topic and what the lecturer was talking about. That was when I panicked and became frustrated with my inability to understand and prepare beforehand. It was not really because I couldn’t understand the topic but instead, the underlying fear of stagnation, of wasting time in the lecture when I could’ve done something productive.

That fear has always been with me, sometimes, even paralysing my ability to rest properly and let go of work.

Though I may sound like a workaholic, I’m not. I just like to do things that are productive and continue to make whatever I do a +1.

Well, like many of my other blog posts, there really isn’t any conclusion to this story, just an entry that I would like to share with all of you.

Maybe, if there’s a lesson to learn from here, it shall be this. To always improve yourself but have time to rest, for with rest, you’ll come back stronger.

An Academic?

I truly, wholeheartedly, admire people who seek knowledge and strive to be the best in what they do, especially academics.

I admire professors, scholars, researchers and people who delve deep into their respective fields not because they need to but because they want to.

And I guess, deep inside, I really want to be just like them.

If I were to go back to my blog post from the beginning of university, I’m sure I had written something along the lines of wanting to be an academic who seeks knowledge because of interest and not because of need. I think that was what drove me forward in the first semester.

However, along the way, I begin to forget that primary mindset, I begin to lose touch on what really mattered.

And I guess, because of that I focused on the wrong things.

To be honest, the thought of just “screw everything” had been playing in my mind, a small annoyance that will gradually get bigger if I don’t get my sh** together quickly. But I know that it shouldn’t be entertained. I love school and all aspects of it but only if I’m in the right state of mind.

After listening to one of my lecturers talked about Darwin’s and his own challenges faced as ‘seekers of the truth’, I realised how insignificant my problems were. I realised that my mind had been pre-set in the wrong state since the beginning of this semester, I should be focusing on the learning and love for the subject and not treat it as ‘just another module’.

I want to be an academic, grasp mastery of my field whatever it might be. I shall work towards it with renewed conviction that I will achieve that.