Long, deep conversations

There’s beauty in long, deep conversations.

If I were to have a favourite type of conversation, it would be long, intense, intimate conversations. Those are the conversations that allows one to pour out their souls, their hopes, dreams and aspirations.

Those conversations are the key to getting to know someone truly deeply.

In Singapore, we call those conversations, Heart to Heart Talks (HTHT). It is a common practice here during camps, suppers, or just in simple gatherings of close friends. I guess it was set as an intention to get to know people on a whole new level from strangers which hopefully will turn into friends.

For me, such conversations give me a mushy, fuzzy feeling inside. An emotion that I truly love and embrace. I guess it stems from my fascination of knowing someone else, especially someone new. It allows me to get to know someone’s perspective, ideas, thoughts and priorities. But I guess, it is much deeper than that. In afterthought, maybe, it might have been a way for me to see the state of my life, to listen to their experiences and learn from their lessons. To reap some sort of benefit and apply it into my life.

Yesterday, I had one of such conversations. I totally dived deep into it, fascinated (as I always was) about his life stories and things that I would never have known if not for such conversations. And one thing that I learnt from it is that, sometimes, caring too much isn’t good. Once one sees an opportunity, one should dive straight into it without much care for what happens next. One has to do that in order to prevent analysis paralysis.

It was an amazing conversation and it would’ve continued late into the night if we weren’t rushing to get home.

There’s a lesson behind all of this. It is that intellectual or just pure honest conversations can really build strong connections between people.

And one should always strive to do that.

I will.

 

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A painful lesson for myself: humility

I started this blog because I treasure memories and I wanted to record them down for my future self to read.

But for that to work effectively, I have to be 100% open and truthful too.

So, let me be just that.

There’s a lesson that I believe has been one of the hardest for me to digest and practice, which is the lesson of humility.

Death and prayer bring humility to the soul of a person. However, I have yet to truly grasp the essence of being humble. To know how to be humble is one thing but to truly practise the art of humility is another.

It is even more so when the urge to get recognition, validation from others will continue poking at you like an annoying little brother. I guess, it just shows how deep I have dived into this world of gratification and a habit I’m trying hard to break.

I guess it all started when I begin to realise that having people associating you with your work is a confidence booster. It truly is. But, slowly and surely, it will become something that consumes you as your work is now more focused on capturing the attention of others instead of honest and sincere work.

Once you get that validation ball rolling, your humility will slowly disappear. And that is something that I truly fear.

In National Service, I was always taught and told to be humble, to respect others and bring yourself low. This lesson was especially important for officers like me. In retrospect, however, I guess it was a lesson that I did not embody and I truly regretted that. Maybe my life in NS would have been vastly different otherwise.

In Islam too, we were taught be humble, to bring ourselves down to the level of others, to speak kindly and on the same frequency as the person we’re talking to.

There are still so much more that I can learn to embody the art of humility. A lesson that I’m painstakingly trying to master.

I guess, it all takes time. All I have to do is persevere on.

I will also try to be sincere in my craft. To put aside the thought of validation and do it sincerely, for the sake of my future self.

Listen, Full Attention.

In this world that is increasingly full of distractions from messages to social media, it becomes harder and harder to listen and give people our fullest attention.

I too am guilty of using my phone as others are talking, preferring to reply unimportant texts than conversing with others who are centimetres away from myself.

It becomes a habit that I begin to realise and be completely aware of.

Thus, I am trying my best to give someone my full attention by putting my phone away when it is time to converse.

I guess it is a basic form of respect and also, one can truly learn a lot about the other person if one is willing to give their fullest attention.

For me, it is a habit in progress.

I’m Humbled.

I’m humbled by the fact that there were so many people that recognised me with certain traits that I do or by a certain style of my posts, be it on whatever social media platform that I’m on.

I’m humbled by the fact that people actually gave attention to some of the work I did, e.g. vlogs, photographs and the like.

I’m humbled by the way people are sometimes willing to open themselves up to one another, even though they do not know the person they’re talking to that well.

I’m humbled by the fact that things happen and we’re at the mercy of fate.

I just feel sometimes, incidents happen, or life just happens, and it reminds us of how powerless and weak we are. That sometimes, our work can go unnoticed but during a few rare occasions, they were.

It reminds me of what my intentions are for putting my work out there, not for the recognition (only), but to improve my creative side and my craft.

There’s so much more wonderful memories to be made and so much more work to be done.

I can do this!

 

2017: 365 Days of Lessons

I’ve decided.

This year I’m going to document the lessons I’ve learnt every single day, be it academic lessons, life lessons, advice from people, thoughts or ideas that occurred to me.

Why?

Because I’ve realised that there is so much that we can learn in our lives, every day, every single moment, but unfortunately, we forget them soon after we learnt/thought about them.

Therefore, by documenting these ideas and lessons into a single book (or maybe on my website or on Evernote), I can refer to them and assimilate them into my daily life.

Hmm… Maybe an audio recording would be better? Let’s see…


Fast? 2016 passed by fast.

I just watched the Youtube Rewind for 2016 and it is at that moment when I realised how fast time passed this year. Not only has 2016 been filled with exciting and wonderful life experiences but it was also filled with a lot of drama, chaos, and disaster.

The speed at which life passed in front of my eyes remind me how we should appreciate Time and how Time will surely come and go, sometimes without us even realising.

As we approach the end of the year, I think it is time for a lot of conscious reflection. I’m sure many things had happened to us this year and thus, we should take the time to consolidate the lessons learnt.

To be honest, 2016 was not a good year but a year that we need because it made us realise that people aren’t what we think they are, that the human society is slowly breaking apart, and it is about time we realise that and fix it.

So, was 2016 a fast year? Definitely but it is a year where a lot of lessons were learnt.