Living like we’re dying

Living like we’re dying.

I’m pretty sure most of us have heard that phrase being thrown around. Especially during times of stress or when people give you advice.

They would say, “We should live like we’re dying because we will never know when we’re going to die.”

or

“You might not have another chance, GO LIVE LIKE YOU’RE DYING!”

But, is it right for us to live like we’re dying? Is it even possible for us to live like our lives are in a constant struggle?

That would lead to some really bad choices, wouldn’t it?

I mean, in the case of terminal illness whereby the doctor tells you that they don’t know how long you have left or that you only have X months left, wouldn’t the phrase, “Living like we’re dying” have a more legitimate reason?

However, in actual fact, even healthy people like us don’t really know how long we have left. The unexpectedness of death is just inevitable. Should we then lead our lives as if we’re dying?

Maybe there is a balance to be struck here. A balance between enjoying ourselves like it is our last and a balance of making rational decisions.

But to figure out which spectrum of ‘living’ we should be is a case-by-case basis.

Ultimately, we need to get used to the idea of death and how real it is. This does not me acclimatise ourselves, to numb ourselves of the idea of death, but instead to accept it as the inevitability of life itself, to know that it is happening and find comfort that everyone till the end of time will experience it with you.


P.S. I guess the fear of death stems from the fear of missing out (FOMO). We fear that by dying we might miss out on a lot in this world. We fear that we might leave this life without truly living, without truly experiencing the fullness and wholeness of life.

To accept that is something that I will let you ponder on.

Advertisements

You’re Gonna Die

“You’re Gonna Die?” asked my friend as he looked at me with a puzzled face.

“Yeah,” I replied.

He was actually talking about my homepage wallpaper which has the words “You’re gonna die” written clearly on the screen. It was a wallpaper by Gary Vaynerchuk.

That question was brought up multiple times and every single time, it was accompanied with a face of curiosity and confusion.

 

Screenshot_20170306-230802.png
My homepage wallpaper.

 

Yes. Yes. A pretty bleak statement. I know. But I guess, I love it. I just love the thought of it, the darkness of that statement, knowing that you’re going to die at any moment. A reminder that you need to put in your best in everything that you do.

Whenever I see that line, every time I look at my phone, it reminds me of the shortness of life, of our own mortality, and that we have to face it one day.

It reminds me to always put in my best in everything that I do and to remember that that might be the last time that I’ll be doing it. Because, who knows how long we’ll live.

I love the bleakness of the message, succinct and clean. A tight slap to my face for it is true and the only definite fact that we will have in our lives. No fluff, no nothing. Just the truth.

I guess this kind of motivation doesn’t suit everyone but it does help me. Hope that answers your question.

 

We are all humans with limited capabilities.

All of us are just humans with limited capabilities. We are not perfect nor will we ever be perfect.

But then, how do we grow to reach that limited potential that we actually have?

Through listening to the advice of the generations before, by making right the things that they’ve made wrong, to not repeat their mistakes ever again.

I believe that each new generation builds up from the generations before them and each new generation leverage those lessons that have been compiled for them.

So, I guess, the lesson for me today is to listen to the advice of seniors and people that have gone through the journey, to not be full of myself, to remain humble even if I just so happen to be more knowledgeable (rarely happens but you get the point).

Restart

 

Restart over.

You know, most of the time, I hope that the blog post I write is a one time wonder, meaning, to just write once and get it over and done with.

However, sometimes it isn’t, like this one.

It took me several starting sentences which I then proceeded to delete them. Why? Because I just couldn’t continue on that train of thought. I mean, I had the idea of what to write but no real concrete structure to what I wanted to write.

The easy days are those that allowed me to vomit out a post that is beautifully structured, precise and clean.

But today wasn’t one of those days.

Anyway, what I just wanted to say is that I had a hard time thinking of what to write. Inspiration hasn’t struck me yet. Or should I strike inspiration? (Hmm…)

I guess, sometimes, we just have to restart over and over again. To begin from scratch and maybe, we can get a better result than before.

Oh well.

A quick update: I watched Hacksaw Ridge yesterday and even though I am right to suspect overdramatization and the like, the acts of Desmond Doss is nothing short of heroic and pure bravery.

 

 

 

Humility, an important skill

I have this problem.

The problem of humility.

Recently, it came to my attention that it is hard to remain humble, to choose the right words to say to not appear arrogant, rude, or full of yourself. It is hard to bring yourself down to a level that will be deemed respectful.

I guess it is particularly hard for me because I feed off of this energy of self-confidence, competition and putting myself on a high horse. This could actually be a defence mechanism that I’ve erected from the experiences I had in the past. To remain stoic, emotionally unmoved by the words of others.

But as I grow older, I’m conscious of this ‘defence mechanism’ and now I realised that it could be more of a bane than a boon.

Thus, it has come to my attention to fixing this problem, to rewire my brain to be humble and master the art of humility.

And it will always be a work in progress.

Stop assuming, Hakim

Hakim.

You don’t know people.

So stop assuming that you do.

What you know about others is just a fraction of who they are. They wouldn’t let someone like you know everything about them. They aren’t like you, letting the whole world know about their lives, every moment of it.

You need to learn to respect their privacy, to know that people release bits and pieces of themselves slowly to you as they start to trust you. Never assume that what you know is their whole story. Don’t finish off their sentences, don’t cut into their sentences, don’t interject, interrupt, intrude and never ever talk more about yourself than about the person you’re talking to.

Show respect, have fun when the time is right, but always guard your manners and the art of engagement.

I know, sometimes you slip up, forget something, make a mistake but know this, apologise and move on. We’re humans, we fail sometimes and it is up to us to pick ourselves back up and start stronger.

Be conscious of your actions and your interactions with other people. Be humble, know that people love to talk about themselves and you should let them, maybe, through that you’d know more about them.

Improving the Self

What is life without the drive to continuously improve yourself?

I’ve always been afraid of one thing, being stagnant. Last week was a good example of that fear in real life. It was in class when half-way through the lesson, I realised that I did not know anything about the topic and what the lecturer was talking about. That was when I panicked and became frustrated with my inability to understand and prepare beforehand. It was not really because I couldn’t understand the topic but instead, the underlying fear of stagnation, of wasting time in the lecture when I could’ve done something productive.

That fear has always been with me, sometimes, even paralysing my ability to rest properly and let go of work.

Though I may sound like a workaholic, I’m not. I just like to do things that are productive and continue to make whatever I do a +1.

Well, like many of my other blog posts, there really isn’t any conclusion to this story, just an entry that I would like to share with all of you.

Maybe, if there’s a lesson to learn from here, it shall be this. To always improve yourself but have time to rest, for with rest, you’ll come back stronger.