Make Your Parents Smile

Narrated Abdullah ibn Amribn al-‘As: A man came to the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: I came to you to take the oath of allegiance to you on emigration, and I left my parents weeping. He (the Prophet) said: Return to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood – Book 14 Hadith 2522

No matter what your beliefs are, I believe that all of us can learn a thing or two from this hadith after the rights of your parents.

Parents come first. Many of us in this day and age tends to forget that.

We push them aside thinking that they are annoying, naggy, not up to our expectations and so on…

However, we have forgotten that they were the ones who brought us into this world, they were the ones that feed and protect us when we were weak and powerless. They sacrificed their lives to raising us.

But no, we have forgotten all of that. We put their happiness secondary and put ours first.

I know, I have been saying that all of us should strive for our dreams despite what others say but that does not mean that we push our parents’ dreams for us aside. We should talk to them, communicate and reach a common ground. They at least deserve that.

Their happiness comes first and I cannot stress that enough. We should strive to make them happy as long as they are alive. We owe them that.

I’m sure, when we become parents, we would want our children to be the coolness of our eyes. We want them to make us happy. So, shouldn’t we do the same for our parents?

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MOTHERS’ DAY

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Mothers’ Day

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Mothers carry us for 9 months. They had cravings, felt sick every morning, felt pain around their backs and felt sore all over but even after all that, they were excited to have you.

During labour, they felt intense pain, breathlessness and some might even have passed out. Some sacrificed beauty by undergoing Cesarean section just to bring you into this world but even after all that, they were so happy to see your beautiful face with your cute little hands and feet and holding you in their arms.

Once they brought you home, their sleep was disturbed by your constant crying, they had to change your diapers, feed you and cleaned you but even after all that, they were glad that you are in their lives.

Growing up, they had to deal with your antics, your problems that you faced and become your saviour every time you made a mess but even after all that, they love you with all their heart. They do all of that because they are your mothers and they will forever love you unconditionally.

They do all of that because they are your mothers and they will forever unconditionally love you.

As most of us know, today is Mothers’ Day and there would be an influx of posts showing dedications, appreciations and love for their mothers on social media but we need to do more beyond that. We need to show them love and care in our character and in our daily interactions with them. We should kiss them, hug them or help them around the house if we can, daily.

Also, we need to move beyond the gifts. Honestly, I feel that the act of giving gifts to mothers is a business tactic to market to people who do not have the courage to show real love to their mothers but expect materialism to cover up their flaw as a child. It is the easy way out for such people.

Honestly, mothers do not expect gifts but instead, they expect love and company of their children. By just being there for your mother when she needs you or the simple act of talking to her would be sufficient for her.

We can give whatever reasons that we want to explain why such things are impractical but listen here, your mother sacrificed her life to have you. She could have done so many other things with her life such as having a successful career, being free from problems associated with raising a child and live happy, independently. However, she decided to have you. She decided to raise you, feed you and teach you how to survive in the world. She decided to put you first in her life. She decided to take the day off from work when you were sick, she decided to work hard so that you can have that toy that you have always wanted and she decided to stay at home with you just so you could sleep well at night. She sacrificed everything because she decided that you are the coolness of her eyes and nothing will ever change that. So do not disappoint her, give her a hug now and tell her how much you cherish her.

Happy Mothers’ Day to all mothers out there!

 

Prioritise Parents

Are your parents your first priority?

Before I begin, in this article I would be referencing to certain Islamic sources but I assure you that even Non-Muslims will be able to relate and understand.

Today was Friday and like every other Friday, Muslims are required to attend the Friday Prayers at the mosque and like every other, there would be a Friday Sermon followed by the Friday Prayers itself. The topic of the Friday Sermon was Developing Humbleness Through Acts of Rituals and the thing that made me emotional was a part telling us about the weakness of every human being:

“The Prophet s.a.w. said in a hadith: “Whoever is not grateful to people, is not grateful to Allah.” [Hadith narrated by Ahmad] This hadith hence serves as a reminder to us that we are weak and are in constant need of others in order to live comfortably. It also reminds us that we were once helpless and weak, but Allah has blessed us with a family and parents who showered us with their love. They took care of us, attended to us and raised us. So let us not forget to always make du’a for them after our every prayer: “O Allah, please forgive my sins and the sins of my parents, and have mercy upon them, like how they were towards me when they were nurturing me during my childhood.””

That last line was like a hard kick to the face.

We are nothing without our parents. From a small baby being just a few seconds old until we have grown up into an adult, we need our parents every step of the way. When we were hungry, they were they ones who cooked or bought for us food. When we were sick, they were the ones who took care of us until we healed. When we were sad and feeling down, they were the ones who showed care and compassion when no one else would. They were the ones who groomed us to become who we are today. We cannot be where we are today without their help and therefore, how could we even consider finding them annoying or a nuisance?

Your parents had their whole life planned out until you arrived which then, you became their plan. They sacrificed everything for you, their wealth, their careers, and even their friends just to nurture and spend time with you. They always have you in mind, thinking about whether you are eating well, whether you are comfortable and whether you are well taken care of.

You are the world to your parents and you have and will always be their first priority.

Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, that you are not prioritising them over everything else?

Our parents do not deserve a child that does not love them back, that is rude to them and that does not think that they are worth the time. They deserve better.

Therefore, I urge all of us, to understand that our parents never had it easy raising us. They never stopped worrying about us. For all that they did for us, all the sacrifices they made, all we have to do is to show them that they are our utmost priority and that they are worth a whole lot to us. Love them and cherish them.

Love Your Parents

Love Your Parents

 

All of us are so preoccupied with our own lives; we go to school or work, we travel and explore, we celebrate our birthdays and went to our friends’ parties but we never took a moment to recognise that as we are growing up and discovering life, our parents are also getting older.

My mother has this condition where her hair will start to thin and new hair fails to grow. This causes her to have a growing bald spot from her hairline till the centre of her scalp. So, when I played around with her hair, I realised that her bald spot had become very obvious. It had never been so bad before and I was quite taken aback. Soon, I realised that it was another sign of her ageing. It was her birthday that day and she just turned 49. At that moment, the realisation of my parents’ mortality dawned on me.

I tried not to picture her old and frail in 20 years time, requiring assistance to move from point to point. I tried not to imagine her requiring help to put food into her mouth. I tried not to imagine her health failing and seeing, probably the darkest time in my life, fast approaching. However, it is something I need to prepare for. As dark as it may be, it is something that will eventually happen. It is something that I do not want to be caught completely off guard.

Every single birthday, every single year, as we turn 20, 21, or whatever age we may be, we also need to remember that our parents are turning 50, 51 or even older. We also need to remember that age is catching up with them and their health might also be steadily deteriorating. Unfortunately, It is one of the facts of life. One day, our parents will turn old and frail. They will become dependent and it is up to you to care for them and ensure that their welfare is taken care of. One day, their health will turn for the worse and you will have to face the inevitable scenario.

I suggest all of you to take a good look at your parents and see age catching up with them: their facial skin drooping and loosening, their hair falling, and their skin wrinkling.

Therefore, we need to realise that our time with them is finite and a majority of our time now should be spent with them. I am not saying that we should forgo our own lives and our own aspirations but instead, we should prioritise them first. If we have to choose between going for a last minute meeting or a dinner with them that had been planned for a while, we should choose the latter.

Do simple acts of kindness for them, be there for them, help ease their lives for them, for were they not there for you when you were small and powerless?

Love them, cherish them and know that whatever they did for you can never be repaid and every moment that passes, your darkest days are slowly approaching.

I try to be secular on this site, but there is an ayah from the Al-Quran that captures the idea of this whole article:

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.

– Surah Al-Isra, Quran 17:23