February 15, 2017

Let me be honest.

There’s something that I seek but I know that deep down I am not ready for it.

It is to the point where I fear it. Appalled at the idea of it.

But I know that one day it will happen and when it does, I won’t be ready.

 

For,

The heart flutters like the soft wings of a butterfly,

And a cheeky smile arise.

An emotion that cannot be understood,

An emotion that shouldn’t take root.

But the rational mind runs to hide,

Which lets the heart to be the guide.

 

A reality that is truly scary.

 

 

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Emotions are Messy

Emotions are messy,

They are not as straightforward,

clear,

or precise,

as rationality.

Emotions fluctuate,

never in the same state,

always moving about,

up and down and around.

Emotions are unreliable,

doing things that aren’t subtle,

making you feel things that you know you shouldn’t,

making you do things that you know you couldn’t.

And emotions can betray you,

leaking out your deepest secrets,

when you’re at your weakest,

But knowing best,

that it is a test,

will put your mind at rest,

and may Allah grant you success.

 

 

Ponder the Nature of Our Existence

Let’s ponder about our purpose on this planet.

Let’s ponder the meaning of life.

Let’s ponder the nature of our existence.

Why are we here?

Do we serve a higher purpose?

Are we here just to exist and die off?

How about the atheistic idea of propagating future generations?

I’m sure all of us have pondered about it,

The meaning of our own existence.

But most of the time,

We pushed the thought away,

“Too complicated, too pointless,” we say.

But maybe,

Just maybe,

There is a meaning to all of these seeming randomness,

Be it God,

Or some other idea.

But keep in mind,

For something,

Can never come out of nothing.

 

 

 

Tears down His Cheeks

He hugged her with tears streaming down his cheeks. He felt like a child around her, his tears wetting her shirt.

“Hey,” she whispered softly into his ear.

“I love you,” he mumbled between sobs. “I’ve always loved you and I’ve been missing you ever since you’ve died.”

“I love you too,” she said as she caressed his cheeks and wiped his tears away. “I’m glad, I’m really glad that you didn’t regret meeting me even though I’ve caused you so much pain all these years. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I will never regret meeting you, all those memories that we’ve shared together were the happiest moments of my life and I would not trade them for anything.”

“My dear?” he said.

“Yes?”

“I just want to say that I’m thankful, thankful that I was able to be part of your life and you, a part of mine. All these years, you have constantly been on my mind, and every night, I’ve been dreaming of touching the warmth of your skin and feeling the coolness of your breath. I’ve missed your cute laughter, your wide smile and the way your eyes lit up when you see food. I’ve missed the way that we can talk about nothing for hours and laugh at each others’ horrible jokes. Most of all, I’ve missed the little quirks that make you, you. I’ve missed you, my love, and I’m glad that I have this chance to say all of that to you.

I will love you, no matter what.”

 

Taking things for granted

Don’t take things for granted.

Especially your loved ones.

No one here lives forever, not even your family and friends.

One day, they might be there smiling and laughing with you,

And the next hour,

They might be lying cold on their beds.

Do you know why we experience so much pain when a loved one dies?

Because their existence becomes a memory,

A thing of the past.

They are no longer tangible.

We are unable to hear their voices, feel the heat from their skin, or receive the warmth of their love.

All of that becomes a memory,

And memories can be forgotten.

We are so afraid that we would lose all of that,

We are afraid that we would forget about them,

And how people might forget about us when we die.

 

Do you know who your grandparents are from 5 generations ago?

What about your great-grandparents?

 

It is precisely something like that that we are really afraid of.

Living a life that would just be forgotten.

Just like how memories can be forgotten.

 

A perfect dream

She looked up at me with her big, brown eyes.

She raised her hands up,

Begging me to lift her.

 

She has a full head of hair,

Jet black in colour,

Tied in a loose ponytail.

 

She’s so beautiful,

Just like her mother,

And I hope,

That’ll she’ll grow up to be,

Kind, caring and loving,

Just like her mother.

 

I bent down,

Lift her up,

And gave her a kiss on the cheek,

She giggled and hugged my neck,

Her head resting against mine.

 

Her mother looked at me and smiled,

And come to hug the both of us,

A soft bump,

barely seen,

The four of us,

In a long embrace.

 

That is the perfect family,

In my opinion,

The perfect dream,

That I would want to be in.