Once we’re sad…

can we then begin to appreciate the emotion of happiness.

What is happiness without sadness?

I believe that one has to understand and recognise sadness as much as they want to feel happiness for they come hand in hand.

By tasting the saltiness of a tear, the feeling of wet cheeks, the uncontrolled trembling, can one begin to appreciate the adrenaline rush of a smile, the warmth of a laugh, the elation of the heart.



Effort ≠ Results

Screw this.

When I see my results from the tests I have taken, they do not reflect the effort that I had put in.

I feel disappointed, really. It is as though the universe is telling to give up and go home.

Honestly, why am I putting so much effort anyway?

I tried so hard to do better, maybe I haven’t been trying hard enough? Have I been lying to myself all these while?

Or maybe I never had the potential to begin with?

I don’t know. Honestly, it is tiring to chase after something that can never be caught.

However, I just know that deep within, I could do better but it just isn’t happening.

I guess, for now, I need to reevaluate my studying techniques. Maybe it really isn’t just quantity but quality. Possibly, my quality is lacking and thus, I need to brush them up.

Oh, help me please.

I know giving up is never the way and I shouldn’t dwell on my failures.

But it really is painful to see that all those hours have gone to waste.

It starts now.


Let’s talk.

Tonight, I’m going to be frank with you.

Recently, self-doubt has slowing been creeping up on me. I started to question my capabilities, my efforts and my strengths.

I began to question whether I am able to do this student thing, whether I am able to succeed in it, and whether I’m putting enough effort like the rest of the students.

I feel as if my life is slowly breaking apart.

I don’t feel motivated as of late. Instead, I feel frustrated and disappointed. Every single day seemed to be yet another worthless, unproductive one.

Furthermore, everybody else seems to be doing better than myself.

I haven’t met any of my expectations and every single thing that I do is followed by an unwavering sense of disappointment.

I’m slowly being crushed, not by work, but by my inability to control my own mind and body.

Honestly, I just don’t know what works anymore. Exercise, coffee, sleep, whatever.

A day is no longer enough to complete anything and I’m frustrated because of that.

I need to get my sh*t back together, and soon.

Honestly, I can tell myself that for millions of times but it is very unlikely that in the next few posts I’d get my life back together.


Just Three Questions When You’re Down

When you’re down, do this.

I promise that it’ll only take a minute.

I promise that you’ll feel better afterwards.

Just three questions.

  1. Who do you care about? 
    Recall the happy memories that you had with them, the smiles, the laughter, that fuzzy feeling that you feel inside.
  2. What are you grateful for?
    Think about the shelter above your head, the bed that you sleep on every night, the food that you eat, the job that you have, the people around you.
  3. What keeps you going?
    Think about the things that motivate you to persevere in life. They can be a goal that you want to achieve, a person that you care about or even a self-responsibility that you have for yourself.

Smile because there are worse things that could’ve happened to you.



Sadness: A Fascinating Emotion

I’ve been meddling around with different thoughts and ideas, trying to move away from the thoughts on life itself and instead focusing more on its periphery, the emotions that govern our lives. 

Emotions are ways where one expresses themselves. Happiness, sadness, anger, disgust and so on. 

Recently, I’ve been interested in the events that trigger such emotions in a person especially those that governs sadness. 

What makes a person cry? 

Guilt, anger, hurt are just a few of the various triggers that cause a person to cry. Though, that begs the question of whether crying equals to sadness. 

Thus, shall I begin this quest in understanding more about this fascinating yet unfortunate (most of the time) state. 

What makes you feel sad? 

Don’t Be Sad, Don’t Be Depressed

I came across the video above as I was scrolling through Facebook. I agree 100% what Prince Ea shared in that video.

There are times when you feel down and destroyed as if you are constantly being pummeled by an emotional hammer. There are times when stress and confusion fill your brain, making you feel lost and frustrated. There are times when you feel worried and unsure because you think that you are not good enough. But know this, those emotions are fleeting. They come and they go. Never will such emotions stay.

What stays is you. You are constant. You decide what defines you, to be happy or to be sad, to be optimistic or to be depressed. You are after all the author of your life. You are in control of how you want to feel, how you see the world and how you react to it. Do not let something else defines you, especially something that comes and goes.


Emotions & Stories

I am fascinated by the way writers are able to tell their stories, from the beautiful backstory of the characters to the way they look at each other during a romantic scene to the atmosphere of the setting. One thing that I admire most about talented writers is their ability to create a lasting scene in the readers’ mind, a scene that you can vividly picture in your mind that it is comparable or even better than the scene happening in real life.

This is of such an example:

“Then I felt something inside me break and music began to pour out into the quiet. My fingers danced; intricate and quick they spun something gossamer and tremulous into the circle of light our fire had made. The music moved like a spiderweb stirred by a gentle breath, it changed like a leaf twisting as it falls to the ground, and it felt like three years Waterside in Tarbean, with a hollowness inside you and hands that ached from the bitter cold.”

— The Name of the Wind, Patrick Rothfuss

When I read that, I can really picture the scene before me, the emotions that were running through the mind of the character, the atmosphere of his surroundings and the power that his music had. The ability to do that to a reader is a skill that is useful and powerful, a skill that is underrated in a fast and industrialised world today. It is a skill that can change moods; it can make a person smile, laugh and happy or it can make a person cry, crushed and contemplative.

I am currently into my 2nd Monthly Challenge and one of the challenge is that I have to write a mini story on Instagram every single day. Therefore, to improve my skills further in the art of creative writing, I have dedicated myself this month to writing a story based off of an emotion every single day. E.g. Sadness, Happiness, Joy, Anger.

This is something that I had written for yesterday’s post based on sadness:

He had done everything he could. He worked two jobs to provide for them, he fed them, clothed them and cleaned them. He spent whatever extra he had to buy them things that they wanted and never would he say no, all these while thinking that they were grateful.

However, when that door slammed, he knew that he had failed. A promise unkept.

To a mere passerby, he seemed to be seating there quietly staring into the horizon but if you have been observing him, you can see his face betraying him; a twitch of the nose, a wobble of the chin and the quivering of the lips… His calm and contained demeanor slowly breaking.

This is going to be fun.