It is more than just you.

Suicide.

It is never the answer to anything.

You know who dies with you when you kill yourself?

A whole lot.

Maybe they do not physically die, but their hearts do. The hearts of your loved ones, your friends, the people who know you.

When you kill yourself, you end more than just your life, you end the hope and dreams of others. People get affected by such a tragedy. They become paralysed and experience emotional trauma.

The pain goes way deeper when you didn’t let them try to save you. When you decided to kill yourself even before they had the chance to lend a helping hand.

It is not worth it.

And suicide will never be the answer to anything.

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You’re Lucky

Think about it. Out of all the millions of other possible souls that could have been brought on this Earth, you were the one chosen to be born. Out of all the endless possibilities and infinite probabilities that would have had occurred, instead, that one combination of possibilities and probabilities that would lead to your existence happened. Even with all the possible dangers that could have happened during your mother’s pregnancy and childbirth that could have led to you being unborn, you were still brought into this world, alive and healthy. Even with all the dangers that exist from the moment you were born till you were a young adult: the possible car crashes, accidental homicide, fatal falls and plain heart failure, you still managed to get out alive and well.

Think about it, instead of rotting in a grave somewhere, you are alive and breathing. You’re lucky.

You can call it a chance or an act of God but either way, you are gifted, gifted with the gift of Life. You are gifted and possibly super lucky to be born a human being. You are given this gift of life allowing you to breathe the fresh and cool morning air, allowing you to hear the beating of your heart and allowing you to feel the sweat dripping from your forehead during the warm summer months. You are able to experience living in this world no matter how cruel it may be. That is a splendid gift.

Imagine the number of premature deaths that happened, the number of individuals who had hoped to live up to adulthood let alone teenagehood, but their lives were taken away all of a sudden due to war and terrorism. Imagine the number of embryos which were unable to enter this Earth because their mothers died during an attack or the number of children who died due to malnutrition. Imagine that.

Now, think about you. Think about your life. Is your life not better? Don’t you not appreciate this gift of life? You might think that your life is in the worst possible mess but remember this, you are gifted with this gift of life and a lot of dead people would beg you for it and you want to negate your existence from this world?

This life might not hold meaning to you except pain and suffering but know that so many other people would wish that they could feel the pain and suffering just to know that they are alive. You would not want to give up because as cliche as it is, this life will definitely turn for the better. Always know that even if you seemingly lost everything, your career, your family or your house, you still have that gift of life. If you appreciate that gift, it will help to propel you forward and before you know it, you will be on your feet much more successful than ever.

Therefore, I urge you, I urge you to think about it. You’re lucky, you just need to acknowledge it.

Everyone is Born Loved

All of us are born being loved by someone.

No matter the kind of person someone turns out to be, no matter what acts or sins someone had committed, there is always someone out there who loves them.

I personally feel that a person’s relationship with everyone that they know can be represented by ropes of various strengths. The strength of a rope heavily depends on how much love the other party has for that particular person. Therefore, for example, the rope will still be strong even though the particular person, Person A, do not love Person B but Person B loves Person A a lot. In a case where Person A dies, this rope will be severed completely representing the lost in the connection between both parties. Person A and Person B can no longer communicate with one another, they can no longer show acts of care and compassion towards each other and they can never interact again. The living bond that is represented by the rope is gone forever.

Whenever I watch, read or listen something that involves someone dying, I will always feel a strong sympathy for their loved ones because the thought of a life removed from them seemed so cruel. For people who die, they will not suffer, they are dead but their loved ones will. Their loved ones will grief their death and for someone who loved the deceased a lot, they will suffer even more. The rope that held the living bond between the deceased and the loved one will completely severe eventually but being a strong rope, it will take time. This time is relative to the amount of grief a loved one will have till they ‘let go’ which is represented by the rope severing completely.

Therefore, it really pains me when I hear about someone who committed suicide. I honestly do not pity the person who kills himself for he has lost all respect when he did that. Instead, I pity his loved ones. They have to bear the burden of guilt and grief never knowing what they ever did wrong. It might take months or years for the ropes to be completely severed and it will hurt a whole lot during the whole period.

It takes a lot of selfishness for someone to even consider committing suicide.The amount of love that they were given, the amount of care and compassion that they were blessed with since their birth can never be repaid and they just kill themselves like it does not matter at all. It does not matter what socio-economic background they come from nor does it matter what their race is, nothing can justify their suicide. They are wrong to think that killing themselves will solve the problem but instead, they are burdening their loved ones even more.

What could be a life full of experiences and hope is negated just like that.

All of us have someone who loves us, whether we know it or not is another question but know that it is never right to commit suicide. It is never right to take your life away and put so much pain on your loved ones. It is never right to severe that rope which has held you to your loved ones so strongly. It is never right to cause them grief and suffering.

If you can take one thing away from this article, I hope it is that you know someone loves you, no matter where you are or what you’re doing and that person hopes every single day of his/her life that you will return to them safely.

 

 

 

 

 

The Meaning of Life

It is amazing what life can throw at us. When it seemed that we have reached the highest point in our lives, something tragic happens, like a death of a loved one or the loss of a career. To some, it might mean that that is the end for them for they will no longer have a purpose to their lives. They no longer have something to look forward to, something that gives their lives meaning. In their despair, some might resort to suicide or self-harm whereas some might experience depression or an emotional breakdown. They could no longer cope with the emotional burden that befalls them. However, the good news is that these people are not beyond help.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

– Nietzsche

The ‘why’ of these people have been lost and therefore, they no longer have the ability to pick themselves up and cope with the troubles of life. These people are to be given reasons to live. It is not easy to give someone a reason to live for they have to find that reason on their own. It has to be something that excites them and pushes them forward, something that will do even if they are not paid for it.

However, what is important is that all of us need to know that suffering is the part and parcel of life. Suffering will happen to everybody as long as someone is living. There is no such thing as someone living without suffering. Suffering can take many forms from being burdened by debt, a failed business or even in an extreme case, wrongfully accused of a crime. Great leaders and successful people have all experienced suffering one way or another but the important thing is that they persevere and bounced back stronger than before. Viktor E. Frankl in his book, ‘A Man’s Search for Meaning’ discussed the idea that suffering is defined by our own perspective and if we were to change our perspective, suffering can instead be a platform for us to grow and benefit from. I quote from ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ by Viktor E. Frankl,

“… emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we form a clear and precise picture of it.”

Once we understand why we are suffering and change our perspective of suffering from being a negative thing to a positive one can we begin to grow.

I have come into contact with people who were suicidal and most of the time they felt hopeless and as if life is against them. They felt that whatever they do, life will always have a way to worsen their current condition. However, all of us should instead treat life as an opportunity and a challenge. I quote from ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ by Viktor E. Frankl,

“One could make victory of those experiences, turning life into an inner triumph, or one could ignore the challenge and simply vegetate…”

Sometimes, it becomes hard to accept the fact that life is a challenge and it is true that some will not take it positively but know that life these challenges are just life’s way of testing us. There will always be someone looking down on us be it God or whoever you believe in, in our difficult times and they will not expect us to disappoint them by giving up.

It is never easy to deal with depression and the thoughts of suicide but know that it is never the end. Life has so much more for you and if you do not stay around, you will not find it out.

There was a video that I had watched recently about the high suicide rates amongst firefighters and a fiancee of a deceased said that killing yourself is like grabbing a rifle and shoot everyone you love. It is a selfish act that will hurt everyone around you.

Life might throw some seemingly improbable challenges but learn to deal with it the right way and know that you can always overcome it.

Life is not meaningless for, in the words of Viktor E. Frankl,

“Life ultimately means taking responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks constantly set for each individual.”