Long, deep conversations

There’s beauty in long, deep conversations.

If I were to have a favourite type of conversation, it would be long, intense, intimate conversations. Those are the conversations that allows one to pour out their souls, their hopes, dreams and aspirations.

Those conversations are the key to getting to know someone truly deeply.

In Singapore, we call those conversations, Heart to Heart Talks (HTHT). It is a common practice here during camps, suppers, or just in simple gatherings of close friends. I guess it was set as an intention to get to know people on a whole new level from strangers which hopefully will turn into friends.

For me, such conversations give me a mushy, fuzzy feeling inside. An emotion that I truly love and embrace. I guess it stems from my fascination of knowing someone else, especially someone new. It allows me to get to know someone’s perspective, ideas, thoughts and priorities. But I guess, it is much deeper than that. In afterthought, maybe, it might have been a way for me to see the state of my life, to listen to their experiences and learn from their lessons. To reap some sort of benefit and apply it into my life.

Yesterday, I had one of such conversations. I totally dived deep into it, fascinated (as I always was) about his life stories and things that I would never have known if not for such conversations. And one thing that I learnt from it is that, sometimes, caring too much isn’t good. Once one sees an opportunity, one should dive straight into it without much care for what happens next. One has to do that in order to prevent analysis paralysis.

It was an amazing conversation and it would’ve continued late into the night if we weren’t rushing to get home.

There’s a lesson behind all of this. It is that intellectual or just pure honest conversations can really build strong connections between people.

And one should always strive to do that.

I will.

 

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hey.

“How is it going?”

“How are you?”

“What’s up?”

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“Heyyy.”

Words / Phrases used to start a conversation.

Where did that conversation lead to?

Has your life changed because you started that conversation?

It’s wonderful how far or how different our lives can change just because of a ‘hey’.

Utterly amazing. 🙂

Let’s talk.

Tonight, I’m going to be frank with you.

Recently, self-doubt has slowing been creeping up on me. I started to question my capabilities, my efforts and my strengths.

I began to question whether I am able to do this student thing, whether I am able to succeed in it, and whether I’m putting enough effort like the rest of the students.

I feel as if my life is slowly breaking apart.

I don’t feel motivated as of late. Instead, I feel frustrated and disappointed. Every single day seemed to be yet another worthless, unproductive one.

Furthermore, everybody else seems to be doing better than myself.

I haven’t met any of my expectations and every single thing that I do is followed by an unwavering sense of disappointment.

I’m slowly being crushed, not by work, but by my inability to control my own mind and body.

Honestly, I just don’t know what works anymore. Exercise, coffee, sleep, whatever.

A day is no longer enough to complete anything and I’m frustrated because of that.

I need to get my sh*t back together, and soon.

Honestly, I can tell myself that for millions of times but it is very unlikely that in the next few posts I’d get my life back together.

Help.

The Fear of Screwing Up

I think all of us, no matter how old we are or where we come from, share this single fear: The Fear of Screwing Up.

We hate screwing up. We hate it when we make mistakes. We hate it when we prepared so much for something, like a presentation, and we completely made a mess out of it.

We hate screwing up. We hate the thought of embarrassing ourselves in front of a crowd. We hate the feeling of hopeless and despair as we are forced to sit through the failure.

We hate it because our capabilities are questioned when we do screw up.

We just don’t want to screw up.

But what can we do?

We are human, prone to error and failure.

Screwing up is in us.

What we need to change is the attitude towards people that did screw up. Be empathetic, know that you might have been in that person’s position.